Victoria's Secret

heart's mind

2012-01-15T22:04:00.002+07:00

i thought if i met him the feeling will back again... but i realise the broken is too bad... it's worst... broke my heart into pieces...

watching his face deeply made me realise nothing left there in my heart... nothing left that could make my heart feel the beat again...

there's no missing feeling, no warm feelings that make me want to see him, no "deg-deg" feelings that made me eiger to miss him, just feel emptiness and flat even i was face to face with him... i didn't dare to touch him cos i was too afraid those hurts will comeback to hit my heart and me badly.....

Then why so hard for me to let him loose... to let him filled his days with his love one, to surender my feelings into darknes night....?!

Sunday's Log

2012-01-15T12:34:00.003+07:00

Usai sudah tugas kemajelisan selama 3 periode yang telah aku emban sbg sekretaris majelis... tidak terasa 3 peroide terlewati dengan segala suka duka, tawa tangis yang mewarnai tugas pelayanan tersebut.

Menjadi seorang majelis tidaklah mudah, menjadi sosok yg dipanut,sosok yg menjadi contoh,sosok yang selalu di"pantau" segala tingkah laku baik tutur kata, sikap, cara hidup yang harus bisa mencerminkan seorang pengikut Kristus, yg hidup tidak bercacat cela, kudus dan dapat menjadi berkat bagi sekeliling sangat tidak mudah...

Saat memulai semua itu aku merasakan "beban" yg berat memikul status sebagai seorang majelis krn secara pribadi aku belum mampu mengalahkan ke"aku"an yg ada didalam diriku. Hingar bingar duniawi, kehidupan dunia, kebutuhan ego yg masih bercokol didalam hidup aku masih mendominasi 100% isi pikiran dan hidup ku

Namun dalam menjalani periode tersebut banyak yg aku pelajari untuk memperbaiki diri dan mejadikan ku pribadi yg lebih baik dari yg dulu...

Kini saatnya meletakan semua tanggung jawab dan tugas itu, ada rasa kehilangan dan rasa sesuatu yg kosong..

terima kasih Tuhan utk kepercayaan yg diberikan pada ku untuk mengisi hari2 bersamaMu, maav masih banyak kekurangan yg aku lakukan dalam menjalankan tugas dan kewajiban itu....

Today's Log January13th 2012

2012-01-13T20:12:00.001+07:00

Today's Log :

Always thankful for everything happen in your life! That's not easy told you..it's not that easy like it said, but if you realy ask HIM to take it over all your burdens,tears and sorrow... and have and added with this little tiny you call FAITH, you'll see HIS work.

Mistakes #1:
Talking about someone behind their back it's not polite and... evil, i did that today, well not exactly "do that talk" it was more like share about what had happen in a day of your life and it had something todo with other's people behaviour, even that people do the samething to you but doin' it like them isn't a reason to get even..

LEARN #1:
change the way you think about people, STOP thinking their bad things,starting to think other's people kind. Every single people in this earth has two sides,gud and bad side, they have their own reason doin bad and also doin gud things... people not always bad i believe they have gud sides, and people not always gud also cos they have their badi side things...
Life's not perfect, so try to make your life easier, better and meaningfull....

MISTAKE #2 :
watchout for your words.... you never know if someone's has hurted by your words even you're telling them the truth... you never know if someday you're gonna need they help or they do something nice to you.... today i said something bad about someone even inside my heart just b'cos this person hurted me, hate this person so much, i wish this person never exicist in my life, never shown up and never knew this person in my entire life...

LEARN #2 :
get revange isn't your right, it's GOD's right....forget the hurts (i know that's not easy..) but if there's a will i believe there's a way. God will count every single tears that fall from eyes... and HE will change them into happiness, 1st i never believe that... but HE prove me i was wrong... HE has HIS own way to make your "storm anger" stop... just believe, i can't explain it here but when you believe you'll see...

Catatan jelang pagi

2012-01-10T01:03:00.002+07:00

Aku coba menutup mata dan membiarkan diriku terlelap meski hy sesaat, namun lintasan peristiwa yg akhir2 ini terjadi membuat aku terbangun kembali. Kata2 argumen dan debat yg cukup mengguncang hati dan perasaan dari masing2 pihak menyisakan tak lebih dari segores luka serta kedongkolan yg mendalam...

Perlahan hati yang tadinya dipenuhi dg warna kesukaan berangsur angsur menjadi abu-abu dan tawar, aku coba mengambil cat warna dari hari-hari hidupku utk kembali menggores warnanya didalam hatiku rasanya menjadi hal yang sia-sia... warna abu-abu itu semakin lekat menggantikan warna warni didalam hatiku...

aku coba pejamkan mata lebih erat lagi dan berharap setelah aku buka kembali warna warni itu masih tersisa....

after the fight....

2012-01-09T19:26:00.003+07:00

after the huge fought on Saturday,7 January, i told him "i hate u" ...must be injured him badly...

These are the chat after Saturday afternoon :

(09 January, Monday)
"and deeply sorry for injures you with my words and my mind... Gibran was right, if someone injures you, u will forget that injury but if you injures someon you will always remember that.."

"hehehehe... aneh juga biasanya bbm-an sm kamu dari pagi sampai malam, tapi sejak sabtu sudah bisa di hitung dengan jari bbm-an sama dikau, tp lama kelamaan pasti terbiasa ya, and aku juga bilang ke dikau keputusan apapun yang kamu ambil untuk aku jalanin aku akan jalanin,right?"

"thank you utk for few weeks sudah ngisi hidup aku dengan kebahagiaan, sungguh being with you made me happy, meski hanya utk dr tgl.09 Oktober s/d 28 Pktober, mav after that aku cuma bisa ngajak berantem mulu...hehehehe"

"sabar ya kl mungkin beberapa hari ke depan aku suka bbm-in hal2 yang ga penting yang mungkin ganggu kamu (bukan ttg hub kamu dan dia) tapi aku janji berusaha lepasin kamu seperti yg kamu mau..hehehehe..."

Aku seperti berdiri di jalan yg bercabang.... melepasnya atau tetap menunggunya? as christian i've been teach about faith, and believe that if we wanted something that good in God's will we have to believe that we already received it....but facing the fact about this guy,i loss my faith about it... he made me stop thinking about miracle again, miracle about love..
but yes i care about him... LOVE?hmmmm not arrive that position yet...
then why it is so hard for me to let him do his life as his wish, if he choose to stay with her so what? i know God could change his heart but what i don't know is he the right guy for me or not?and only God knows that...

so i choose God's will, jika saat ini DIA menginginkan aku menjauh dari dia yg aku sayangi so beat it i'll do it... sad?yes, hearted broken?of course, but i still do it anyway, GOD's choice is the best for me...

Welcome 2012

2012-01-03T11:18:00.002+07:00

geezzz... almost 1,5 years i haven't touch or write here...lost my pw..stupid idiot bin asshole!!

alot of things hapens since 16 March 2010, one the most hitting me was when i lost my mom for gud, she went into Lord's hand on 02 Dec 2011, she'd been suffered from her illness "cerosis" she stayed at hospital for 15 days, and giving into Lord's hand on Dec 02nd,2010 (miss you mom)

in romance sequel, hmmmm being HTS, awesome journey but it came to the end finaly just b'cos he's got caught (we exactly) cheeted,1st time so hard thru days without his presence but lately i realise we had to stop this realtionship, now i could run the days freely from heartache C",)

another story, well i knew this guy quite long enough,nice guy, i even liked him but silently cos alot of reasons tobe thought... shortly, last year (2010) we got closer accidently,but again i was being in HTS situation,yeah you tell me sucks... but glad he told me the truth for the beginning..

this stupid feeling of me few moments ago had back again... and this was become my huge mistake carried away with the feelings that crashed me again for the last time... im sorry for giving him bad times, im sorry for asking him to do something that he wasn't able to do, im sorry for put me into wrong positon just b'cos we gt closer.

Now i am trying to leave all behind,one of the time, putting again the pieces of my heart, i know it won't back into whole pieces like the old days but the crack remind me to learn more wiser treat my own heart...

Now 2012, don't know yet what will hapen, just thankful for the life journey in the last year, with everything inside it.. and hope this year will be better....

So, to you all Happy New Year 2012, keep the faith, keep the spirit.... GBU abudantly

JIKA ALLAH ADA DIMANA-MANA MENGAPA TAK AKU MENEMUKANNYA by Kimberly Sadler

2010-03-16T20:03:00.000+07:00

Dalam kekacauan dan kebingungan hidup kita seringkali kita melupakan kehadiran Allah baik sebagai Pencipta, Penebus,Pemelihara,Penyedia,Pembela,Guru dan sebagai Raja dalam hati kita.
Dalam kehidupan keseharian yang kita rasakan aman-aman sering tanpa sadar kita bersandar kepada seseorang ataupun sesuatu dan itu menjadi kebiasaan dalam kita menjalani hari-hari hidup kita. Namun bila tiba-tiba suatu masalah datang, memaksa kita menghadapi kenyataan bahwa segala sesuatu tidak berjalan aman seperti yg kita harapkan, pikiran dan hati kita terpaku akan keadaan kekacauan yg kita hadapi. Kita merasa sendiri menjalani semua itu,kita merasa tidak ada seorangpun yg dapat menolong kita atau bahkan mendengarkan jeritan kita, not even GOD!Kita merasa kekacauan itu terjadi akibat kesalahan ataupun kegagalan kita menjalankan perintah Tuhan hingga pantaslah jika TUHAN “tidak mau” turun tangan dan membiarkan kekacauan itu menimpa kita. Kekacauan dan kebingungan menutup pikiran dan pengertian kita akan arti kehadiran Allah sebagai Pencipta kita. Allah tidak terbatas dalam waktu dan tempat, Dia ada dimana-mana, saat kita bahagia Dia ada, saat kita bersedih Dia-pun bersama kita. Dia mampu menjadikan dunia ini dan hanya melalui perkataanNya dunia ini dapat pula dilenyapkan. Begitu juga dengan kekacauan dalam hidup kita, dengan kuasaNya permaslaahan itu dapat dilenyapkan if we asked and let HIM works on it!
Kasih Allah begitu besar kepada manusia ciptaanNya meski Dia tau kita tidak mampu senantiasa “menyenangkan” hatiNya dengan melakukan semua perkataanNya. Namun saat kekacauan melanda kita lebih menyalahkan diri sendiri sebagai mahluk berdosa dan yang gagal menjalankan perintahNya hingga kekacauan itu terjadi dalam hidup kita. Untuk mendapatkan kasihNya kita berusaha sekuat tenaga utk membuat DIA tertarik kepada kita dan berharap dg begitu DIA mau memberikan kasihNya kepada kita. Kita lupa kasih Allah kepada kita tulus dan tidak menuntut apapun dari kita. Dia rela mati di kayu salib utk menebus kita dan menggantikan kita menjalankan hukuman salib itu. Dia menjadi Penebus untuk hidup kita dengan segala kekacauan yg klita lakukan, but still HE loves us.
Menghadapi kekacauan dalam hidup acapkali kita begitu sibuk mencari jalan keluar yang kita anggap benar untuk kita. Kekacauan-kekacauan itu dapat berupa tuntutan2 pekerjaan yg tiada henti, permasalahan dalam keluarga yg datang bertubi-tubi yang membuat kita sulit utk mengambil nafas, ataupun permasalahan2 lainnya, dan saat semuanya itu sudah tidak tertahankan kita berkata, “Tuhan aku lelah, dimana Engkau selama ini?Tidak-kah Engkau melihat kekacauan ini begitu menyita semua waktu dan hidupku?” Saat menghadapi keadaan2 sulit kelelahan kita akan lenyap jika kita menerapkan Firman Allah. Yang perlu kita lakukan dalam kesibukan kita adalah berdiam diri dan melihat segala sesuatu dengan menggunakan cara pandang Allah. Kita sering mencari cara lain utk mendapatkan extra kekuatan dan membuat kita bergantung pada jalan keluar yg kita putuskan sendiri daripada menemukan ketentraman didalam Allah. Menyadari Allah selalu memelihara kita dan bersandar pada pemeliharaan Allah adalah satu-satunya cara kita mendapatkan kekuatan.
Kebutuhan dan keinginan adalah salah satu keadaan yang dialami oleh manusia. Ada kebutuhan jiwa dan kebutuhan raga. Melalui kebutuhan-kebutuhan yg kita perlukan Allah ingin menyatakan diriNya kepada kita sebagai Penyedia kita, dan Dia ingin kita dapat bergantung kepadaNya. Permasalahannya manusia cenderung tidak mau Allah memenuhi keperluan kita, sebaliknya kita merasa lebih tau apa yang menjadi kebutuhan dan keinginan yang terbaik bagi kita. Alasan kita senantiasa menginginkan apa yg kita punyai karena hal itu memuaskan hati kita. Kita tidak tahu apa yang sebenarnya menjadi kebutuhan dan keinginan kita dan apa yang benar-benar kita perlukan, namun Allah tau dan mengerti. Allah seringkali menjadi Penyedia bagi segala sesuatu yg kita perlukan meski tanpa kita sadari dan tetap saja kita masih menuntut lebih dariNya, kita menuntut kepuasan yg dapat memenuhi keinginan kita, dan bila keinginan itu tidak memuaskan kita maka kita ber-alih ke hal-hal duniawi yang kita anggap mampu memenuhi keperluan ataupun keinginan kita itu. Kita lupakan kesetiaan Allah yang senantiasa menyediakan apa yg kita perlukan bahkan dalam saat yang membingungkan dan sulit sekalipun, Allah tahu memenuhi apa yg dibutuhkan kita.
Dalam menghadapi pergumulan yang menyedot seluruh kekuatan kita tanpa kita sadari kerap kita bersandar akan kekuatan kita sendiri.Kita yang membela diri kita sendiri terhadap kesulitan2 yg kita hadapi dalam pergumulan hidup, tidak ada yg kita percaya selain diri kita sendiri, bahkan tidak juga Allah.Mempercayai Allah menjadi pembela dalam hidup kita bukanlah hal yang mudah. Kita hjarus melepaskan pertahanan duniawi kita.Ingatkan diri kita akan siapa ALLAH yang sesungguhnya dan apa yg telah DIA perbuat dalam memelihara kita.
Melalu permasalahan yg kita hadapi dan melalu kekacauan yg kita alami Allah menjadi Pengajar dalam hidup kita. Ajarannya kadang mudah untuk kita jalankan namun tidak jarang ajaranNya sulit kita jalankan. Nasmun seberapa kali kita ter”jatuh” Allah tidak pernah menertawakan kebodohan kita krn ketidakmampuan kita menjalankan ajaranNya, namun DIA terus menerus mengajarkan kita berulang-ulang melalui berbagai pengalaman hidup,ayat-ayat Alkitab,kisah-kisah dan melalui kehidupan orang-prang istimewa yang kita temui. Kekacauan, pencobaan adalah kesempatan bagi kita untuk belajar dan menjadi rahmat bila kita menerimanya sebagai alat pendidikan dari Allah.Bila kita merasa bingung,Allah memegang tangan kita dan IA tidak pernah meninggalkan kita sendirian, IA sesnantiasa mendampingi kita saat kita melewati haru-hari kekacauan dlm hidup kita.
Bahkan saat kita tidak dapat memandang ALLAH ditengah-tengah pencobaan kita, Dia tidak pernah jauh dari kita.Bila kita dapat mengingat Allah dalam pergumulan dan kekacauan yg kita hadapi kita akan menemukanNYA pun dalam masa pergumulan dan kekacauan itu.Dia tidak akan pernah meninggalkan kita sendirian!

farewell

2009-12-31T22:18:00.004+07:00

i miss you... just miss you... always miss you....
you would never realise that cos you wouldn't thinking about me...
you would never going back to me...

i miss you... just miss you...always miss you....
eventhou' you have a new life since you walked away from me...
you would never knowing what my heart's feel now...

be gone.. be gone...away...away..far away...
away from the story of our love... leave me alone, leave me in tears all by my self...
that's okay... i'll be fine...

let the tears wash away my wound... and make it heals my heart and soul...

A New Year Story

2009-12-31T21:38:00.002+07:00

Few hours we'll be step our foot on 2010, many things happens along 2009... still i could wash away my sadness love story....
Melewati hari demi hari, jam demi jam, menit demi menit, detik demi detik bersama dengan gambar dirinya dibenak-ku... hanya dari kejauhan aku menikmati kehadiran dirinya, senyumnya, tawanya....
dalam kehingar bingaran suasana persiapan memasuki Tahun 2010 aku mencari keheningan sejenak dari suara tawa dan gelak yg terdengar dimana-mana, entah mengapa keheningan itu menjadi musik indah yg membuai hati dan pikiranku, membawa ketenangan dan kedamaian ke dalam jiwa ku yg terus berduka...
Memasuki Tahun 2010 aku sadari luka ini telah terlalu lama ku bawa dan ku simpan secara rapi dalam kehidupan diriku, dan tanpa terasa luka itu menjadi bagian dalam diriku dalam mengisi,melewati, menghabiskan hari-hari kehidupan-ku...
Kini saatnya aku melepaskan luka itu,membiarkan ia pergi ke awan dan menghilang seiring datangnya sinar pengharapan 2010...
Tak tahu apa yang harus kulakukan atau ku katakan atau bahkan ku pikirkan untuk membiarkan luka itu menghilang bersama awan dan kepak sayap sang malam, hanya ada rasa yang teramat perih dan menyakitkan yang bisa membawa keseluruhan hidupmu untuk menghentikan perihnya saat akar kedukaan itu tercabut dari dalam hati dan jiwaku....
Aku ingin membuang luka ini jauh dari hidupku namun mengapa sakitnya terasa sama saat aku kehilangan dirinya,bukankah aku harusnya berbangga, harusnya aku bersukacita,harusnya aku bergembira?
Tahun 2010.... tahun yang penuh pengharapan (i hope...), tahun yang akan membawa sukacita dan tawa dalam hidupku...yeaahh akan ku mulai dengan senyum dan tawa untuk jiwaku, entah darimana harus ku mulai...namun aku berharap luka ini tertutup rapat dan menghilang.... apabila terasa nyerinya sometimes, well it's only a torn that remind me that too much love will kill you....

Happy New Year Everyone...

today short story

2009-11-19T22:05:00.002+07:00

Hari ini gue me"radang" gara-gara silly news about pemotongan transport, in the middle of my tension one of my friend said,"don't let eight thousand rupiah give you hate to someone..!" all the sudden that words gave me a long silent...he's right... absolutely right! B'cos of 8.000 rupiahs i gave my heart into temptation of anger. First time i felt not fair but then i tried to talk with my self was i really that upset?was it worth? then i just laughed to my self... it's not important to get angry more important to solve the problem and find the best wayout of it....

Uluran tangan Sang Kematian

2009-11-07T22:23:00.003+07:00

KEMATIAN aka Death... so creepy... but sejauh yg aku denger orang keep saying "wah almarhum sudah enak disana, sudah ga mikir apa-apa..." pernah ga terpikir perkataan itu cocok utk yang soulnya diterima di surga... what about the soul that goes to the hell.... Banyak orang yang menghindar jika topik pembicaraan adalah tentang KEMATIAN
Saat mengalami perpisahan dengan orang yg dikasihi karena dipisahkan oleh kematian apa yang kita rasakan tidak dapat dikatakan. Ada rasa kehilangan, rasa kesedihan, rasa tidak percaya, rasa kesepian, dan entah kepada siapa kita bisa mem"protes" semua rasa itu, bahkan kadangkala kita mempertanyakan TUHAN tentang kematian itu sendiri....
Sering aku bertanya apakah jiwa yang pergi menuju Sang Pencipta-nya masih tetap dapat mengingat orang-orang yg ditinggalkannya di dunia?As a christian aku diajarkan untuk percaya bahwa kematian di dalam Kristus adalah awal kehidupan yang baru di dunia beyond our mind sedangkan kematian diluar Kristus adalh awal kematian yang kedua....dan seringkali aku juga berpikir mengapa kematian itu harus ada?Pertama kali mengalami ke"pergi"an orang yang dikasihi adalah saat aku kehilangan opa ku, since that i've been thinking alot about DEATH, i saw when my grandmother grieving in her pray.. alone and said to the Lord,"i love him so much please takecare my Love dear Lord..."
Apakah kita pernah melihat Kematian itu seperti sosok yg datang bertamu dan mulai mempersiapkan sebuah perpisahan, dan kita dengan daya upaya sekeras kita mencoba untuk mengusir Sang Kematian dengan cara apapun. Namun sekeras apapun yg kita lakukan Kematian dg kesabarannya mempersiapkan masing-masing dari kita untuk menghadapi perpisahan dengan kekasih jiwa kita. Sementara kita berusaha agar Sang Kematian tidak membawa kekasih jiwa kita, namun tiap hari kita melihat Kematian semakin ber"teman akrab" dengan kekasih jiwa kita and there's nothing you could do... Saat waktunya tiba kita memohon agar Sang Kematian tidak membawa kekasih jiwa kita karena kita membutuhkannya, kita mencintainya, namun saat "Pintu" menuju dunia lain itu terbuka ternyata Sang Kematian mengulurkan tangannya kepada kita,menggandeng kita dengan kesabarannya dan membawa kita untuk ikut bersamanya, disaat itulah kita sadar bahwa Kematian mempersiapkan perpisahan itu untuk kita karena kita yang akan "pergi" bersamanya....
Apakah kita akan siap jika uluran tangan Sang Kematian tertuju pada kita....?

saat ku panggil Engkau...

2009-06-26T03:10:00.003+07:00

Saat ku panggil Engkau "BAPA" kembali ku tolehkan pandangan ku untuk melihat seberapa banyak sikap ku sebagai anak-Mu...
Saat kupanggil Engkau "BAPA" ku tengok lagi masa-masa aku menjadi anak-MU,
saat ku panggil Engkau "BAPA" dapat ku lihat lagi ternyata kerap aku menduka-kan Engkau dengan segala sikap nakal dan pemberontakkanku....
Saat ku panggil Engkau "BAPA" kembali aku tersimpuh dihadap-Mu bagai seorang anak yang sangat membutuhkan dekapan lembut dari Sang Bapa yang memberikan kedamaian dalam relung jiwaku...

Saat ku panggil Engkau "TUHAN" ada rasa yang mempertanyakan keistimewaan aku menyapaMu dengan sebutan itu...
Saat ku panggil Engkau "TUHAN" terlalu banyak dosa yang membungkus diriku dan membuat noda yang mengotori pelataran suci-Mu...
Saat ku panggil Engkau "TUHAN" ada rasa sejuk yang menyiram kedalaman hatiku...

SESEORANG YANG MENCINTAI KAMU....

2009-06-16T18:53:00.002+07:00

Seseorang yg mencintai kamu, tidak bisa memberikan alasan mengapa ia mencintaimu. Dia hanya tau, di mata dia, kamulah satu satunya.

Seseorang yg mencintai kamu, sebenarnya selalu membuatmu marah / gila / jengkel / stres. Tp ia tdk pernah tau hal bodoh apa yg sudah ia lakukan, karna semua yg ia lakukan adalah utk kebaikanmu.

Seseorang yg mencintai kamu, jarang memujimu, tetapi di dlm hatinya kamu adalah yg terbaik, hanya ia yg tau.

Seseorang yg mencintai kamu, akan marah-marah atau mengeluh jika kamu tdk membalas pesannya atau telp nya, karna ia peduli dan ia tdk ingin sesuatu terjadi ke kamu.

Seseorang yg mencintai kamu, hanya menjatuhkan airmatanya di hadapanmu. Ketika kamu mencoba utkmenghapus air matanya, kamu telah menyentuh hatinya,dimana hatinya selalu berdegup / berdenyut / bergetar utk kamu.

Seseorang yg mencintai kamu, akan mengingat setiap kata yg kamu ucapkan, bahkan yg tdk sengaja dan ia akan selalu menggunakan kata2 itu tepat waktunya.

Seseorang yg mencintai kamu, tdk akan memberikan janji apapun dgn mudah, karna ia tdk mau mengingkari janjinya. Ia ingin kamu utk mempercayainya dan ia ingin memberikan hidup yg plaing bahagia dan aman selama lamanya.

Seseorang yg mencintai kamu, selalu memberitahumu utk tdk berpikir terlalu banyak, karna ia sudah merencanakan semuanya utkmu. Ia ingin memberikan kehidupan yg terbaik di masa mendatang. Ia ingin memberikanmu suatu kejutan, percayalah dia dpt melakukannya.

Seseorang yg mencintai kamu, mungkin tdk bisa mengingat kejadian / kesempatan istimewa, seperti perayaan hari ulang tahunmu, tp ia tau bhw setiap detik yg ia lalui, ia mencintai kamu, tdk peduli hari apakah hari ini.

Seseorang yg mencintai kamu, tdk mau berkata Aku mencintaimu dgn mudah, karna segalanya yg ia lakukan utk kamu adlh utk menunjukkan bhw ia siap mencintaimu,tetapi hanya ia yg akan mengatakan kata I Love You pada situasi yg spesial, karna ia tdk mau kamu salah mengerti, dia mau kamu mengetahui bhw ia mencintai dirimu.

Seseorang yg bner2 mencintai kamu, akan merasa bhw sesuatu harus dikatakan sekali saja krn ia berpikir bhw kamu telah mengerti dirinya. Jika berkata terlalu banyak, ia akan merasa bhw tdk ada yg akan membuatnya bahagia / tersenyum.

Seseorang yg mencintai kamu, akan pergi ke airport utk menjemput kamu, dia tdk akan membawa seikat mawar dan memanggilmu sayang seperti yg kamu harapkan. Tetapi,ia akan membawakan kopermu dan menanyakan: Mengapa kamu menjadi lebih kurus dalam waktu 2 hari? Dengan hatinya yg tulus.

Seseorang yg mencintai kamu, tdk tahu apakah ia harus menelponmu ketika kamu marah, tetapi ia akan mengirimkan pesan setelah bbrp jam. Jika kamu menanyakan: mengapa ia telat menelepon, ia akan berkata: Ketika kamu marah penjelasan dari dirinya semua hanyalah sampah. Tetapi, ketika kamu sudah tenang, penjelasannya baru akan benar2 bekerja /manjur / berguna.

Seseorang yg mencintaimu, selalu memanggil kamu dgn sebutan gadis kecil , tp sewaktu ia menginginkan utk membuat keputusan besar, dialah org pertama yg ingin mendengar saran dari kamu.

Seseorang yg mencintaimu, akan selalu menyimpan semua benda yg telah kamu berikan, bahkan kertas kecil bertuliskan ' I LOVE U ' ada di dalam dompetnya.

Seseorang yg mencintaimu, saat bertengkar, dia akan meminta maaf dgn tak terkontrol (secara terus menerus) meskipun kamu yg bersalah dan nantinya ia akan mengirimkan pesan kepadamu : Sayang, sebenarnya itu adalah kesalahan kamu dan kamu sendiri sudah mengetahuinya.

Seseorang yg mencintaimu, ia ingin membelikanmu sekeranjang mawar berjumlah sama dengan hari jadi pacaran dan menunngu dgn bodohnya di bawah apartemenmu, ia melakukan ini karena ia benar2 sayang kamu.

Seseorang yg mencintaimu, jarang mengatakan kata2 manis. Tp kamu tau, 'kecupannya' sudah menyalurkan semua ^^

"sekarang ia sudah tak ada disisi-ku,dia sudah pergi dengan mimpi2 indah yg ingin dia lewati bersama sosok lain,pun hingga detik ini aku menulis aku tau aku tidak pernah menjadi sosok yang berharga baginya... yang dahulu hanya sebuah topeng yg dia gunakan dan kepalsuan untuk membuat ku terpana akan cinta palsunya...."

Thomas Jeffrey Hanks

2009-06-05T16:49:00.006+07:00

Thom Hanks, Thomas J. Hanks, Thomas Jeffrey Hanks
Born:
Thomas Jeffrey Hanks on July 9, 1956 in Concord, California

Job Titles:

Actor, Director, Producer, Screenwriter, Songwriter, Hotel bellboy, Sold peanuts at Oakland Coliseum

Family

Brother: Jim Hanks. Born June 15, 1961
Brother: Larry Hanks. Born Jan. 26, 1953; teaches at University of Illinois
Daughter: Elizabeth Ann Hanks. Born May 17, 1982; mother, Samantha Lewes (aka Susan Dillingham)
Father: Amos Hanks. Divorced Hanks mother in 1960; had custody of Hanks and two older siblings; married two more times; died in 1992
Mother: Janet Turner. Divorced Hanks father in 1960; retained custody of Jim Hanks; remarried several times
Sister: Sandra Hanks. Born July 31, 1951
Son: Chester Marlon Hanks. Born Aug. 4, 1990; mother, Rita Wilson
Son: Colin Hanks. Born Nov. 24, 1977; mother, Samantha Lewes (aka Susan Dillingham)
Son: Truman Theodore Hanks. Born Dec. 26, 1995; mother, Rita Wilson

Education

Skyline High School, Oakland, CA, 1974
California State University, Sacramento, Sacramento, CA, theater
Chabot Junior College, Hayward, CA

Milestones

1978 Made professional debut as Grumio in The Taming of the Shrew at the Riverside Theater in Cleveland, OH
1980 Co-starred in the short-lived cult ABC sitcom, Bosom Buddies ; played an advertising trainee who pretended to be a woman in order to live cheaply at a women-only hotel
1980 Film acting debut, He Knows You re Alone ; was paid only $800
1982 First TV-movie, Rona Jaffe s Mazes and Monsters
1983 Had recurring role as Uncle Ned on the NBC sitcom Family Ties
1984 First leading role in a feature film, Splash ; directed by Ron Howard
1986 Offered a fine performance as a workaholic advertising executive who tries to reconcile with his ill father (Jackie Gleason) in Nothing in Common
1988 Delivered a strong turn as a bitter stand-up comic in Punchline ; co-starred opposite Sally Field
1988 Earned first Best Actor Academy Award nomination for Big ; directed by Penny Marshall
1990 First screen pairing with Meg Ryan (who had multiple roles) in the uneven comedy Joe Versus the Volcano
1990 Starred as Sherman McCoy in Brian De Palma s ill-fated screen version of The Bonfire of the Vanities
1992 Received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame
1992 Rejuvenated career after a string of box-office disappointments playing the character role of the boozy baseball coach in A League of Their Own ; seceond collaboration with Penny Marshall as director
1992 TV directorial debut, None But the Lonely Heart episode of HBO s Tales From the Crypt series
1993 Directed and acted in I ll Be Waiting , a segment of the Showtime series Fallen Angels
1993 Portrayed a gay lawyer with AIDS who sues his law firm for wrongful termination in Philadelphia ; won Best Actor Oscar
1993 Proved a fine romantic lead opposite Ryan in the Nora Ephron-directed Sleepless in Seattle
1993 With Gary Goetzman, formed the production company Clavius Base
1994 Received consecutive Best Actor Academy Award as Forrest Gump a slow-witted Southerner who lives an extraordinary life; first collaboration with director Robert Zemeckis
1995 Portrayed real-life astronaut James Lovell in Apollo 13 ; directed by Howard
1995 Voiced the cowboy Woody in the computer-animated feature Toy Story
1996 Feature screenwrting and directing debut, That Thing You Do! ; also played featured role of the band s manager amd wrote songs included in the film
1998 Co-executive produced the 13-part HBO series From the Earth to the Moon about the NASA space program; also acted in, scripted and directed episodes; co-produced with Ron Howard, Brian Grazer and others
1998 Headlined the Steven Spielberg-directed Saving Private Ryan , playing a captain leading a team of soldiers in search of the missing private; garnered Best Actor Academy Award nomination
1998 Third teaming with Meg Ryan, the romantic comedy You ve Got Mail ; directed by Nora Ephron; a loose remake of The Shop Around the Corner
1999 Reprised voice of Woody in Toy Story 2 , originally planned as a direct-to-video release, film received a theatrical distribution
1999 Starred as a prison guard in the period drama The Green Mile . adapted from Stephen King s novel
2000 Co-starred with Helen Hunt in Cast Away , directed by Zemeckis; played a man stranded on a deserted island; production was halted to allow Hanks to lose an appropriate amount of weight to reflect the character s emaciation; received Best Actor Oscar nomination
2001 With Spielberg, produced the HBO WWII-themed miniseries Band of Brothers ; also scripted and directed episodes
2002 Co-starred with Paul Newman in The Road to Perdition
2002 Collaborated again with director Spielberg for Catch Me if You Can playing the FBI agent pursuing Leonardo DiCaprio
2004 Cast as the voice of The Conductor/Hero Boy in the animated film Polar Express, directed and screenplay by Robert Zemeckis
2004 Starred as a southern professor who puts together a group of thieves to rob a casino in the remake of The Ladykillers ; helmed by Joel and Ethan Coen
2004 Starred in the romantic comedy The Terminal, as Viktor Navorski, an immigrant who becomes a resident of a New York airport terminal; directed by Steven Spielberg and starred Catherine Zeta-Jones
2006 Re-teamed with director Ron Howard to portray professor Robert Langdon in the film adaptation of The Da Vinci Code based on Dan Brown s bestseller
2007 Portrayed Democratic Texas Congressman, Charlie Wilson in Charlie Wilson s War directed by Mike Nichols, written by Aaron Sorkin, and co-starring Julia Roberts; earned a Golden Globe nomination for Best Actor in a Motion Picture Musical or Comedy
2008 Co-starred with son Colin in The Great Buck Howard, a comedy about a young aspiring magician (Colin) who becomes the assistant to a renowned illusionist against his father s wishes
2008 Executive produced (with wife Rita Wilson) the film adaptation of the West End stage musical, Mamma Mia!
2008 Executive produced the HBO original movie, John Adams
2009 Re-teamed with Howard to play professor Robert Langdon in Angels & Demons, the film adaptation of Dan Brown s novel and sequel to The Da Vinci Code
Made guest appearance on ABC s Happy Days ; first met Ron Howard
Moved to New York
Spent three seasons performing with the Great Lakes Theater Festival in Ohio working with Vincent Dowling

Actor Credits

Toy Story 2 in 3-D (2010)

Voice of Woody

Toy Story 3 (2010)

voice of Woody

Angels & Demons (2009)

Robert Langdon

Toy Story in 3-D (2009)

Voice of Woody

The Great Buck Howard (2009)

Mr. Gable

Charlie Wilson's War (2007)

Charlie Wilson

The Simpsons Movie (2007)

Voice of Himself

Cars (2006)

Voice of Woody Car

The Da Vinci Code (2006)

Robert Langdon

The Ladykillers (2004)

Professor Goldthwait Higginson Dorr

The Polar Express (2004)

The Conductor/ Hero Boy/ Father/ Scrooge/ Santa Clause/ Hobo

The Terminal (2004)

Viktor Navorski

FBI Agent Carl Hanratty

Road to Perdition (2002)

Michael Sullivan

Cast Away (2000)

Chuck Noland

The Green Mile (1999)

Paul Edgecomb

Saving Private Ryan (1998)

Captain Miller

You've Got Mail (1998)

Joe Fox

That Thing You Do! (1996)

Mr White

Apollo 13 (1995)

Jim Lovell

Forrest Gump (1994)

Forrest Gump

Philadelphia (1993)

Andrew Beckett

Sleepless in Seattle (1993)

Sam Baldwin

Radio Flyer (1992)

(uncredited) Adult Mike

A League of Their Own (1992)

Jimmy Dugan

Joe Versus the Volcano (1990)

Joe

The Bonfire of the Vanities (1990)

Sherman McCoy

Turner & Hooch (1989)

Scott Turner

The Burbs (1989)

Ray Peterson

Big (1988)

Josh

Punchline (1988)

Steven Gold

Dragnet (1987)

Pep Streebek

Everytime We Say Goodbye (1986)

David

Nothing in Common (1986)

David Basner

The Money Pit (1986)

Walter Fielding

Volunteers (1985)

Lawrence Bourne III

The Man With One Red Shoe (1985)

Richard

Bachelor Party (1984)

Rick Gassko

Splash (1984)

Allen Bauer

Elliot

Director Credits

From the Earth to the Moon (1998)

Director

That Thing You Do! (1996)

Director

Producer Credits

My Life in Ruins (2009)

Executive Producer

Where the Wild Things Are (2009)

Producer

The Great Buck Howard (2009)

Producer

City of Ember (2008)

Producer

Mamma Mia! (2008)

Executive Producer

Surfer, Dude (2008)

Producer

Charlie Wilson's War (2007)

Producer

Evan Almighty (2007)

Executive Producer

Starter for 10 (2007)

Producer

The Ant Bully (2006)

Producer

Magnificent Desolation: Walking on the Moon 3D (2005)

Producer

Connie and Carla (2004)

Producer

The Polar Express (2004)

Executive Producer

My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002)

Producer

Cast Away (2000)

Producer

Return With Honor (1999)

Producer ( presents )

Writing Credits

Magnificent Desolation: Walking on the Moon 3D (2005)

Screenplay

That Thing You Do! (1996)

screenplay

Music Credits

The Polar Express (2004)

Song Performer (Hot Chocolate)

That Thing You Do! (1996)

songs ( Loving You Lots and Lots It s Not Far La Senora de Dos Costas Mr Downtown Voyage Around the Moon Hold My Hand Hold My Heart Will You Marry Me? Spartacus Hollywood Showcase Theme )

Joe Versus the Volcano (1990)

Song Performer ( The Cowboy Song )

Dragnet (1987)

Song Performer ( City of Crime )

Other Credits

Festival in Cannes (2002)

Special Thanks ( with apologies to Tom Hanks )

Full House

2009-05-03T01:05:00.003+07:00

Inilah drama seri Korea yang “best seller” dengan tema cerita sederhana, namun dikemas dengan sangat memikat. Drama ini termasuk salah satu ikon Korea yang membuat banyak orang yang dulunya tidak menyukai Korea, akhirnya kepincut abis untuk terus menyaksikan drama Korea yang lain.

Dikisahkan tentang Li Yeong-jae, seorang aktor yang parlente dan tengah naik daun. Dalam perjalanannya ke Shanghai untuk pembuatan film terbarunya dengan artis lokal,ia dan Han Ji-eun (seorang gadis biasa yang cenderung naif) bertemu di pesawat. Han Ji-eun yang baru pertama kali naik pesawat dengan cuek bertanya ini itu bahkan memuntahkan makanan ke baju Yeong Jae. Dari sinilah “perjodohan” mereka sebenarnya telah dimulai.

Setelah Ji-eun pulang ke Korea, ia kaget karena rumahnya Full House yang dibangun almarhum ayahnya telah dijual oleh sepasang sahabat karibnya– yang merupakan satu-satunya sahabat yang dia punya. Lebih kaget lagi, karena yang membeli adalah Yeong Jae lewat perantara manajernya. Karena kasihan dengan Ji-eun yang telah yatim piatu dan sempat jatuh sakit, serta tidak punya siapa-siapa (karena temannya kabur entah ke mana), Li Yeong-jae menampung Ji-eun di rumahnya. Tapi ada syaratnya, Han Ji-eun harus mau bekerja sebagai pembantu — bersih-bersih dan memasak — karena Ji-eun juga harus membayar utangnya kepada Yeong-jae yang dipinjamkannya waktu di Shanghai.

Di sisi lain, Yeong-jae mencintai temannya semenjak kanak-kanak Hui-yuan yang juga menjadi desainer Yeong-jae. Namun ia bertepuk sebelah tangan, karena Hui-yuan justru mencintai seniornya Liu Mingge yang juga merupakan teman sepermainan Yeong-jae dan Hui-yuan sedari kecil.

Karena kesal cintanya ditolak, Yeong-jae melamar Ji-eun. Ji-eun yang tidak tahu apa-apa menolak mentah-mentah. Tapi ia luluh juga, karena ia diiming-imingi mendapatkan Full House. Ji-eun akhirnya setuju, karena perkawinan itu cuma kontrak 6 bulan, punya perjanjian tidak mencampuri kehidupan pribadi masing-masing, tidak ada kontak fisik, mendapatkan gaji sebagai istri, dan paling menggiurkan adalah mendapatkan Full House kembali. Perjanjian bisa batal– terutama hak mendapatkan Full House, jika membocorkan hal kawin kontrak ke pihak lain.

Sangat masuk akal, tinggal serumah, bertemu setiap hari,menumbuhkan benih-benih cinta di antara Li Yeong-jae dan Han Ji-eun. Meskipun pertemuan terbesar mereka adalah bertengkar, tidak mampu menghambat tumbuhnya benih cinta di antara keduanya. Bahkan Li Yeong-jae mencari-cari alasan untuk memperpanjang kontrak perkawinan menjadi 3 tahun.

Dalam perjalanannya, Han Ji-eun yang berprofesi sebagai penulis novel bertemu dengan Liu Mingge, orang kaya yang mempunyai perusahaan penerbitan. Bisa ditebak Liu Mingge yang sebelumnya acuh tak acuh dengan perempuan yang hanya mengejar-ngejarnya karena ketampanan dan kekayaannya, tergila-gila dengan Han Ji-eun yang polos.

Pertarungan pun dimulai. Liu Mingge yang geram melihat Li Yeong-jae yang sering menyia-nyiakan Ji-eun karena sibuk mengejar cinta Hui-yuan, berusaha menyenangkan dan selalu menjadi tempat curhat bagi Ji-eun. Li Yeong-jae pun dibakar api cemburu, meski di sisi lain tidak mau melepaskan Hui-yuan. Sedangkan Hui-yuan memanfaatkan Yeong-jae sebagai pelarian setelah cintanya ditolak Liu Mingge. Ia bertekad menghancurkan rumah tangga sahabat karibnya itu dan membawa kembali cinta Li Yeong-jae untuknya.

Meski sering bertengkar, berpisah dalam waktu lama dan “bercerai”, tidak membuat bara cinta antara Li Yeong-jae dan Han Ji-eun padam. Bahkan semakin menjadi-jadi. Cinta yang dipupuk oleh kebersamaan dan waktu itu membuat mereka akhirnya dipersatukan dalam mahligai rumah tangga yang seutuhnya dan sesungguhnya.

Rain Bi berperan sebagai Li Yeong-jae.
Li Yeong-jae digambarkan sebagai seorang aktor yang populer, dipuja banyak gadis, namun mempunyai kepribadian yang masih labil, bahkan cenderung masih kekanak-kanakan. Ini terlihat dari cara ia memperlakukan Han Ji-eun istrinya yang sering diperlakukan dengan tidak adil. Namun kekuatan cinta mengajarkannya untuk bisa berkorban dengan cara menjauh dan meninggalkan Ji-eun dengan tujuan istrinya tak bakal menderita lagi karenanya.

Song Hye-Gyo sebagai Han Ji-eun
Berperan sebagai gadis biasa yang cenderung naif,polos, jujur dan apa adanya. Meski sering dikatakan bodoh (burung bodoh) dan tidak mempunyai bakat dalam menulis oleh Yeong-jae, ia tidak pernah putus asa. Dengan bimbingan Liu Mingge, akhirnya ia bisa menjadi penulis novel sekaligus penulis skenario film yang laris dan berbakat. Dalam hati dan pikirannya ia tetap setia menyimpan cintanya rapat-rapat hanya untuk Yeong-jae, meski ada tawaran cinta tulus dari Liu Mingge.

Kim Sung-soo sebagai Liu Mingge
Dalam film ini ia berperan sebagai anak konglomerat yang kesepian jauh dari sanak saudara dan orang tua yang sibuk berbisnis di luar negeri. Ia mapan dan dikejar-kejar banyak wanita, tak terkecuali Hui-yuan yang hanya dianggap adik oleh Mingge. Sifat playboy-nya mendadak hilang setelah bertemu dengan Ji-eun yang tak peduli dangan kekayaan dan ketampanannya. Ji-eun tulus bersimpati untuk berteman dengan Liu Mingge, bahkan menemani Mingge saat ia berulang-tahun.

Han Eun-jung sebagai

Kurang lebih sama dengan karekter Liu Mingge, Hui-yuan adalah anak orang kaya yang juga kesepian. Kesibukannya sehari-hari adalah mengelola butik miliknya dan konsultan designer bagi Yeong-jae. Semula ia mencintai Liu Mingge yang suka melindunginya sewaktu kecil dari gangguan bocah laki-laki lain. Tapi karena ditolak, ia berbalik mengejar Yeong-jae yang kemudian disadarinya sebagai pelindung sejatinya. Ia tidak mau melepaskan Yeong-jae, meski tahu sahabatnya itu sudah menikah. Bahkan ia menantang Ji-eun untuk memenangkan cinta Yeong-jae

Song Hye-Kyo

2009-05-03T01:01:00.003+07:00

Song Hye-kyo

Gender:

Girl

Nickname:

Woodpecker, Hejgyo, Yookgyo, Hakkyo

Place of Birth:

South Korea

Date of Birth:

November 22, 1971

Lives in:

South Korea

Star Sign:

Sagittarius

Height:

160 cm (5 ft 3 in)

Blood Type:

He/She is:

Actress, Model

Famous For:

All In, Autumn Fairy Tale, Full House

Hobbies:

shopping, movies, music, stitching-knitting, collecting perfumes

Talk about Song Hye-kyo

Song Hye Kyo (born November 22, 1981; registered on February 26, 1982) is a South Korean model and actress. Song made her debut by winning the Grand Prize in model search in SunKyung Smart and starring in a Sunday morning drama called Happy Morning (KBS, 1996). She starred in number of hit dramas including All In, Autumn Fairy Tale, and Full House. Due to her popularity she can be seen frequently on advertisements when she is not acting.

(adopted from http://www.asianbite.com/profiles/Song-Hye-kyo_200_1)

My B'day Wishes

2009-04-22T23:55:00.003+07:00

My Bday Wishes from lovely persons in my life….

Ucok:
Delete all ur worries in life,Save dmoment u win a struggle,send whateva ur concerns 2God,load ur trust in Him,and wait 4His reply…Happy Bday Sist..
Tiga:
Keep the smile, leave the tears.Think of Joy,4get the fear, hold the laugh,leave the pain.Be Joyous,cos it’s ur bday,JBU
Amoy:
jangan pernah menyesali satu haripun dari hdpmu.Hari Baik memberi kebahagiaan, Hari Buruk memberikan pengalaman, keduanya sangat penting utk hidup, Hpy Bday Dear!
Rezha:
My Prayer,peace 4ur mind,Joy 4ur spirit,Love 4 ur heart,Hpy Bday,Gbu!
T’Aca:
Met ultah VQ,pjg umur,sehat dan bahagia serta sukses selalu.Ntar malam ada di muardi?GBU
Eko:
Hpy Bday..Smoga…(byk da) yg pasti sukses slalu dan slalu diberkati Tuhan
Ma’Corin:
Life is like a book,e’day has a nu page,with advanture to tell,lessons 2learn and tales on gud deeds 2remember.Hv a gud episode 2day,Hpy Bdae, Gbu always, Love from Flamboyan 3
Donal:
Slmt ultah y bu, smoga sehat slalu dan panjang umur trus..
(sebagian smsm yg aku terima on my B’day…)
Ambon:
Happy Bday VQ,Tuhan Yesus memberkati!
E-
Ka Atit,met ultah ya…Semoga apa yg diharapkan bisa tercapai..cpt dpt jodoh,sukses,sehat,bahagia...Jbu

Bergin:Hlo Kak vicky hpy bday,mw d doain ap ni kak..he3x..i pray kak vicky get the best,ta tunggu traktirannya ya he3x..skli lg hppy bdae ya kak

Ithie:Utk traktir kita2 yach?,ga usah repot-repot,bulan ini dpt tambahan insentif 75% dr gaji,tp sayangnya udah diklik…hehehehehe (thx thie for making me laughing today)

berhubung banyak yg ngirim jadi yg ditulis segini aja, selain itu ada dari Mrs.Suryanti, mbak any, jela, ayeng,limbongbua,ceuceu,dita,Jessie,bertha,didin,mey,erna, cece,Gerald Lebon,Fernando

By phone
Carlos:
Happy B’day…met ultah ya…koq belom tidur?masiy nonton?
Fernando:
Happy B’day 2u…ada bayi yg baru lahir hari ini…hahahahaha…
Rina:
Happy b’day ya dear….mau kado apa?kalo ivan gue ga bisa kasih…hehehehehe
Sammy:
Hallo Vick..met ultah, Tuhan berkati kamu, hape Rina lagi di gue jadi awas jangan kirim yg jorok-jorok…hahahahaha...
Sulung en Vina:
“Ounty potong kuenya mana?…minggu aja ya ounty…papi-ku mana?” (vina)
Happy bday ye…God bless you…minggu ganti gue jadi liturgos ya?”
Melon:
woi…hapi bday ye..lg ngapain loe?cuti lagi?dasar…gimana kabar orang-orang kantor?

dari YM:
Ori:
happy bday vick, smoga tahun depan ultah pas lagi ga cuti

Dina Tambun:Kak Attiiittt...hepi bday ya..

dan ada juga yg lewat FB Ka Neila, Eko,Mas Budi,Jetu,David,Emin,Helga,Jessica,Naithan…

thx for all of you, for your care and attention on my special days, thank you for coloring my life with your presence…i thank Lord for sending you into my life…you are all sweets…thx and God bless, i love you all

What A Nite

2009-03-17T18:18:00.000+07:00

Seeing his face sleeping so tight remind me how much i missed the guy, he's so sweet and adorable and he seemed to love me but i didn't know for sure. I just sat near him while he was sleeping and heard his breath softly gentle in my ear, that time i wanted to kiss him but all i could dare to do was sitting down near him and watced him.
And after a while suddenly he opened up his eyes, i was a little bit shocked cos he opened his eyes suddenly, and he catched me was staring at him closely...i just smiled and so did he... then we seperated, but not too far, i approached to him then we looked at our each other eyes then we kissed!!!! My gosh, he had the most gentle and sweet kiss... far from lust...i like his kiss...i shaked head to toe feeling his heart beat so hard.. but it was hapen so fast.... but the memory left so strong into my mind...
What a Nite... what a guy...

Sometime When We Touch

2009-03-04T17:50:00.000+07:00

You ask me if I love you, and I choke on my reply
Id rather hurt you honestly than mislead you with a lie
And who am I to judge you on what you say or do
Im only just beginning to see the real you
And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much, and I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you till I die
Till we both break down and cry
I want to hold you till the fear in me subsides

Romance and all it's strategy leaves me battling with my pride
But through the insecurity some tenderness survives
Im just another writer, still trapped within my truths
A hesitant prize fighter, still trapped within my youth

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much, and I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you till I die
Till we both break down and cry
I want to hold you till the fear in me subsides

At times I'd like to break you and drag you to your knees
At times I'd like to break through and hold you endlessly
At times I understand you, and I know how hard you've tried
Ive watch while love commands you
And Ive watched love pass you by
At times I think we're drifters, still searching for a friend
A brother or a sister, but then the passion flares again

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much, and I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you till I die
Till we both break down and cry
I want to hold you till the fear in me subsides

26 Februari 2009...The Night....

2009-03-04T16:37:00.002+07:00

Can not touch
Can not hold
Can not be together

Can not love
Can not kiss
Can not have each other

Must be strong ,
And we must let go
Can not say
What our heart must know

How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you
Here in my arms

How does one waltz away
From all the memories
How do I not miss you
When you are gone

Can not dream
Can not share
Sweet and tender moments

Can not feel
How we feel
Must pretend it's over

Must be brave
And we must go on
Must not say,
What we've known all along

How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you
Here in my arms

How does one waltz away
From all the memories
How do I not miss you
When you are gone

Must be brave
And we must be strong
Can not say,
What we've known all along

Lirik lagu diatas mewakili apa yg aku rasakan ke kamu....
after our kiss that day aku semakin ter"ikat" oleh pesona diri kamu,
tiap tetes airmata tidak mampu mewakili perasaan rindu
yang saat ini berkecamuk didalam hatiku.
Semakin aku memandang-mu, semakin aku rasakan kedalaman cinta ku kepadamu,
aku tau cinta ini suatu kesalahn dan terlarang
tapi aku tak mampu membendung kekuatan cinta itu...
Apakah kamu dapat merasakan apa yang aku rasakan?
dapatkah kamu merasakan duri kerinduan yang menusuk setiap bagian terkecil hatiku?
Aku tidak menyangka rasa ini begitu hebat menyerangku,
dan saat bibir kita bertemu malam itu
semua gejolak perasaan yang terpendam selama 20thn
seakan melebur menjadi satu, semua kerinduan, kekaguman, kebanggan,
dan rasa sayang...
semua bercampur seperti sengatan listrik diseluruh tubuhku...
Aku ingin mencium sekali lagi bibir lembut-mu,
merasakan sekali lagi sentuhan jemari tangan-mu ditubuh-ku,
dan merasakan engkau didalam aku dan aku didalam-mu...

Maafkan aku untuk semua kesulitan yg engkau hadapi karena cinta-ku....
Maafkan aku untuk ketidak-mampuanku menghapus bayang-bayangmu dari hidupku
dan jiwaku...

Aku selalu mencintai-mu....

--
"Hakuna Matata.."

Nothing else here...

2009-02-18T23:45:00.002+07:00

Kosong.....
hatiku sekarang kosong, begitu juga dengan jiwaku...
Kosong....
pikiran ku kosong melompong, sepi...dan kosong...
Kosong...
hari-hariku terlewati dengan berteman bengong...
Kosong....

Ragussa Ice Cream Italia

2009-01-07T22:23:00.002+07:00

Jl.Veteran i/10, Jakarta Pusat ~ Ragusa Ice Cream Italia... akhirnya kesampean juga gue kesana bareng sohib gue Ithie..
Tempatnya nice and cozzy asyik untuk dijadikan hang around...
Sampe disana gue langsung mesen tutti fruty and ithie chocolatte sundae, plus tambahan otak-otak yg jualan depan pintu masuk en sate satu porsi..yang rasanya lekker banged...
Sayangnyasetelah kita pesen makanan itu ada info sebaiknya sebelum pesen kita tanya harganya dulu (utk otak-otak dan sate) krn konon sang penjual suka ber"main" dg harga jajanannya... walaaahh mental orang sekarang udah ambrruuuk banged ya...

Well, diluar semua itu, ice cream-nya sedeup uueeyy...

Have Yourself A Little Merry X'Mas

2008-12-25T23:09:00.002+07:00

December 25th, 2008

Today is X'Mas Day....alot of preparation during the "big"day, x'mas songs heard everywhere, stores, malls, and alot of streets played X'Mas song, x'mas decorations...wouw i think everywhere looked so X'Mas :D

Everywhere felt X'Mas...except inside my heart! So tragic...isn't it?! Alot of things happens during x'mas day...lost few persons and found the others, persons that you never think could bring all the memories into your life back again...

I made reviews of my life for this year, and it surprise me, i found alot of things that shocked the hell of me, few made me sad, few made me smile and happy, and few made me just frozen...

Here they were:

October :
Starting this month my mom get sick, she got diabethic and got high, so need stayed at hospital, after that she got fall cos she couldn't manage her step then she couldn't walk and needs theraphiest... after that she went to the hospital several times cos her diabethic.... 3 months she doesn't able to walk.... but since two weeks ago my mom got massage and now slowly she could move her right leg again, and the great thing was she was bale to attend X'Mas Celebration at the church...

By The End of November:
Got surprise that my childhood first love struck again...woouww, and this time i don't know what to do!I kept this feeling morethan 20 years ~moreless~ After i lost sum1 so dearly last June my days so empty and lost, i went hang around with few guys but not for seriously only for fun, then he showed up... out of the blue! The feeling back again, i tried to hold it harder but i think he's too damn hot tobe not to pay attention! But like the old days, my stupidity, he's alread has sum1...no..no.. he's belongs to sum1, and this time i can't just "jump" like that into the situation and got off that easily... He foundout about my feeling, suprise... he said YES! i try again to free my self from this conditional love but.... i just don't know...!!!
Still in touch until now with him... just wait and see...

December:
Ho..ho..ho..ho.. X'MAs time!
for these few months i had this "like feeling" to this guy, well... it started since last december, but he's too young for me! along the days i realise perhaps i just like him no more, but yes i wis he showed up again this X'Mas eve... and the prayes has been answered... Just when i need sum1 to brighten up a little bit of my X'Mas eve there he was...even now he's already has girl friend but im glad i could accepted his visit only as a friend...
But i won't forget his look wen he stared at me and singing a song, his smile and his cute little face that he's got...girl's heartbreaker...
"thank's for coming dear..."

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE

Kamu

2008-12-14T23:26:00.002+07:00

Hari ini pikiran aku tidak bisa lepas dari bayang-bayangmu...
Hari ini pikiran aku terus dipenuhi oleh sosok dirimu...
Mengapa engkau tidak ber-anjak dr pikiran-ku,
mengapa engkau tidak menghilang dari kerinduan jiwa dan ragaku...
Aku ingin engkau pergi dari hari-hariku namun malah kerinduan itu semakin dalam..
Aku ingin engkau menghilang dari jiwa dan ragaku namun hanya engkau yg dapat menghapus dahaga cinta-ku...
Kamu mengapa engkau masih disini...

Bumbling at the nite...

2008-12-08T23:08:00.002+07:00

Entah mengapa aku merasakan kesepian yang sangat dalam,dan entah darimana ada kesedihan yang cukup membuat aku ingin menjerit sekuat tenaga namun yang ada hanya diam sunyi yg keluar dari mulut bibir-ku...

Tuhan tak terlihat-kah oleh-Mu kesedihan yang mengganjal dalam relung hati ku saat ini? dan aku tidak tahu bagaimana mengusir rasa itu out from my heart...
Tuhan tidak Engkau melihat kesunyian yang membungkus jiwa kosong ini?
Tuhan apakah tidak terdengar gemuruh kesedihan hati yang begitu bergejolak dalam hati ku hingga membuat aku ingin berlari pergi dari dunia ini...

Aku tidak mengerti mengapa kesedihan ini begitu hebat melanda diriku,
dan aku tidak mengerti mengapa jiwaku dibuat tidak berdaya oleh kekosongan itu....
Aku lelah Tuhan... aku lelah menghibur diri-ku dan mencoba meyakinkan jiwa ku bahwa semua baik-baik saja... well, it's not... it's not that well Lord... i think you know it!

You always thought me tobe a taugh girl by lay down on YOU Lord... and when im loosing my way i feel that i couldn't find YOU again... not even the way to go back to YOU...

Kau tahu Lord, slowly the pictures of them whom i ever loved play again in my mind... and they're slipping thru my fingers one by one...apakah kebahagiaan cinta itu hanya dimiliki oleh orang lain sedangkan itu sepertinya menjadi hal yang terlarang dalam kehidupan-ku? Apakah untuk-Mu aku terlalu buruk untuk mencintai ataupun dicintai?

Tolong jangan tinggalkan aku dengan kesunyian yang menyiksa ini....
Maaf untuk setiap perkataan yang terlontar tanpa ku pikirkan...
Jangan biarkan aku sendiri dengan kesedihan itu God... let me breath and feel the happiness so i would have known that i am precious enough to YOU...

Fave Songs from ABBA

2008-12-08T21:58:00.002+07:00

HONEY-HONEY

Honey honey, how you thrill me, ah-hah, honey honey
Honey honey, nearly kill me, ah-hah, honey honey
I'd heard about you before
I wanted to know some more
And now I know what they mean, you're a love machine
Oh, you make me dizzy

Honey honey, let me feel it, ah-hah, honey honey
Honey honey, don't conceal it, ah-hah, honey honey
The way that you kiss goodnight
(The way that you kiss me goodnight)
The way that you hold me tight
(The way that you're holding me tight)
I feel like I wanna sing when you do your thing

I don't wanna hurt you, baby, I don't wanna see you cry
So stay on the ground, girl, you better not get too high
But I'm gonna stick to you, boy, you'll never get rid of me
There's no other place in this world where I rather would be

Honey honey, touch me, baby, ah-hah, honey honey
Honey honey, hold me, baby, ah-hah, honey honey
You look like a movie star
(You look like a movie star)
But I know just who you are
(I know just who you are)
And, honey, to say the least, you're a dog-gone beast

So stay on the ground, girl, you better not get too high
There's no other place in this world where I rather would be

Honey honey, how you thrill me, ah-hah, honey honey
Honey honey, nearly kill me, ah-hah, honey honey
I heard about you before
I wanted to know some more
And now I know what they mean, you're a love machine

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SLIPPING THRU MY FINGERS

Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile
I watch her go with a surge of that well-known sadness
And I have to sit down for a while
The feeling that I'm losing her forever
And without really entering her world
I'm glad whenever I can share her laughter
That funny little girl

Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see what's in her mind
Each time I think I'm close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time

Sleep in our eyes, her and me at the breakfast table
Barely awake, I let precious time go by
Then when she's gone there's that odd melancholy feeling
And a sense of guilt I can't deny
What happened to the wonderful adventures
The places I had planned for us to go
(Slipping through my fingers all the time)
Well, some of that we did but most we didn't
And why I just don't know

Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see what's in her mind
Each time I think I'm close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time

Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture
And save it from the funny tricks of time
Slipping through my fingers...

Slipping through my fingers all the time

Schoolbag in hand she leaves home in the early morning
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile...

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
THE WINNER TAKES IT ALL

I don't wanna talk
About the things we've gone through
Though it's hurting me
Now it's history
I've played all my cards
And that's what you've done too
Nothing more to say
No more ace to play

The winner takes it all
The loser standing small
Beside the victory
That's her destiny

I was in your arms
Thinking I belonged there
I figured it made sense
Building me a fence
Building me a home
Thinking I'd be strong there
But I was a fool
Playing by the rules

The gods may throw a dice
Their minds as cold as ice
And someone way down here
Loses someone dear
The winner takes it all
The loser has to fall
It's simple and it's plain
Why should I complain.

But tell me does she kiss
Like I used to kiss you?
Does it feel the same
When she calls your name?
Somewhere deep inside
You must know I miss you
But what can I say
Rules must be obeyed

The judges will decide
The likes of me abide
Spectators of the show
Always staying low
The game is on again
A lover or a friend
A big thing or a small
The winner takes it all

I don't wanna talk
If it makes you feel sad
And I understand
You've come to shake my hand
I apologize
If it makes you feel bad
Seeing me so tense
No self-confidence
But you see
The winner takes it all
The winner takes it all...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MAMMA MIA...

I've been cheated by you since I don't know when
So I made up my mind, it must come to an end
Look at me now, will I ever learn?
I don't know how but I suddenly lose control
There's a fire within my soul
Just one look and I can hear a bell ring
One more look and I forget everything, o-o-o-oh

Mamma mia, here I go again
My my, how can I resist you?
Mamma mia, does it show again?
My my, just how much I've missed you
Yes, I've been brokenhearted
Blue since the day we parted
Why, why did I ever let you go?
Mamma mia, now I really know,
My my, I could never let you go.

I've been angry and sad about the things that you do
I can't count all the times that I've told you we're through
And when you go, when you slam the door
I think you know that you won't be away too long
You know that I'm not that strong.
Just one look and I can hear a bell ring
One more look and I forget everything, o-o-o-oh

Mamma mia, here I go again
My my, how can I resist you?
Mamma mia, does it show again?
My my, just how much I've missed you
Yes, I've been brokenhearted
Blue since the day we parted
Why, why did I ever let you go?
Mamma mia, even if I say
Bye bye, leave me now or never
mamma mia, it's a game we play
Bye bye doesn't mean forever

Mamma mia, here I go again
My my, how can I resist you?
Mamma mia, does it show again?
My my, just how much I've missed you
Yes, I've been brokenhearted
Blue since the day we parted
Why, why did I ever let you go
Mamma mia, now I really know
My my, I could never let you go

***************************
Our Last Summer

The summer air was soft and warm
The feeling right, the Paris night
Did it's best to please us
And strolling down the Elysee
We had a drink in each cafe
And you
You talked of politics, philosophy and I
Smiled like Mona Lisa
We had our chance
It was a fine and true romance

I can still recall our last summer
I still see it all
Walks along the Seine, laughing in the rain
Our last summer
Memories that remain

We made our way along the river
And we sat down in the grass
By the Eiffel tower
I was so happy we had met
It was the age of no regret
Oh yes
Those crazy years, that was the time
Of the flower-power
But underneath we had a fear of flying
Of getting old, a fear of slowly dying
We took the chance
Like we were dancing our last dance

I can still recall our last summer
I still see it all
In the tourist jam, round the Notre Dame
Our last summer
Walking hand in hand

Paris restaurants
Our last summer
Morning croissants
Living for the day, worries far away
Our last summer
We could laugh and play

And now you're working in a bank
The family man, the football fan
And your name is Harry
How dull it seems
Yet you're the hero of my dreams

I can still recall our last summer
I still see it all
Walks along the Seine, laughing in the rain
Our last summer
Memories that remain
I can still recall our last summer
I still see it all
In the tourist jam, round the Notre Dame
Our last summer
Walking hand in hand
Paris restaurants
Our last summer
Morning croissants
Living for the day, worries far away...

Half Past Year 2nd

2008-12-08T19:19:00.004+07:00

August:

I missed sum1 special b’day, and i didn’t know how to tell him how deeply my sorry was, i think he shud upset with me… he doesn’t know how special he is for me! pssttt.. my only secret… well happy belated b’day dear, wish i could shown you how much you meant to me… but it’s forbidden… in every ways…

SePtEmBeR :

Iceberg’s B’day… this time i didn’t make it to contact him, cos he was faraway… infact i didin’t know where he was…and still…

I lost sum1 dearly in this month, Mr.Chris Siahaya, he was my sister’s father in law, and also my father’s best friend and my aunty’s brother in law… small world, right!

PS: i dumped another scum from my love life..again… gee why i had to involved with alot of scumbags…..ppffuuiiihhh…

OkToBeR :

On this month my mom got sick and had to spent few days at hospital b’cos of her diabethic, and she’s been living with me at my grandmother’s house since that…

This month my past “romance” back again… when i met him i didn’t know what to do, i was so nervous and the funniest thing was he didn’t have any clue about my feeling… i think i like playing with fire… honestly, i was glad he came…

NOVEMBER:

Sumtimes i wonder, why God let us to fall in love and get married then separated by death….being separated in any ways so sucks… tears, broken hearted, sadness, emptimess, struggling to keep standing still, being alone… those are such a crap… but life is goin on, right and that’s what God’s wants us to do…

i saw my “past romance” back away this month… back to where he’s from, still sumthing dissapeard in my heart, saw him from distance and couldn’t do anything except waving your hands saying gudbye…and the only thing left just the memories….

Again my mom went to hospital… i really sad and confuse and affraid… she’s stayed at hospital only for 4 days …. thank’s God…

And also this month one of my best had been sent to out of town... Amoy i missed her..already!

DECEMBER:

X’Mas is coming on its way… watcha gonna do for the preparation? will write it down here a.s.a.p k?!Finally my “ past romance” findout about my heart… and it’s all coming back to me now… all the feelings, the sories, the flirt… is this my other stupidity?or am i just being luck?

i think i need somebody here… S.O.S.

Sunday's Log of Vicky

2008-12-07T20:47:00.003+07:00

Kembali sit tight infront of my blogs field..yet still don't know what am i goin' to write down...

07.45:
tergopoh-goph ngabrit ke organ untuk menggantikan tugas organis hari ini mengiringi jemaat bernyanyi dalam ibadah minggu... sumthing funny hapen during the ceremony, my little niece Vina all the sudden ran to the infront of the church and sat on my lap and sang "..cicak-cicak didinding..." with her outloud voice... i tried so hard to make her quite...

13.15:
went out to Citra Land Mal with Wendy, Anthon~her husband~, Vina, Jeannette ~my youngest sista~, Robin ~her husband~, and my cousin Helmut. We went to Gramedia, one of the largest book store in Jakarta, and buy view things for X'Mas preparation at the church. After that we had lunch at Pizza Hut, Wendy's treat~,we'd been there for 3 hours more less... and then we went to Muwardi's...

18.40:
i went to Bynet netcafe, in upset mood cos had fight with Wendy.. and beside missing sum1 badly but don't know how to contact him, think im gonna crazy thingking about this guy.. and starting to say to my own self ,"..why Vicky, why do you always make a wrong love , why you always get involved with those wrong guys, why do you always drawn your self into bad situation and imposible wishes..." Guess i miss sum1 in my life, sum1 that i could talk to, sum1 that could love me freely and without no ashame things, sum1 that i could introduce to my big family...

21.28: still sitting infront of the compie, and wonder will my prince charming come and get me? Or will i stay alone in my regrets and sadness?!..Really made me dizzy...
Got to go... so tired... and sleepy...

Yang Terdalam by Peter Pan

2008-12-07T20:31:00.003+07:00

Lepas semua yang ku-inginkan, takkan ku ulangi
maafkan jika kau ku sayangi, dan bila ku menanti...
Pernahkah engkau coba mengerti, lihatlah ku disini..
Salahkahkah jika aku bermimpi salahkah tuk menanti..
Tak'kan lelah aku menanti, takkan hilang jiwaku ini
hingga saat kau tak kembali, kan ku kenang dihati saja
Kau telah tinggalkan arti yang terdalam
hingga tiada cinta yg tersisa di jiwa

(by PeterPan)

2008-12-07T19:53:00.001+07:00

Sedikit demi sedikit aku bisa menerima engkau sudah meninggalkan aku...
Sedikit demi sedikit aku mulai terbangun dari mimpi saat-saat bersamamu..
Sedikit demi sedikit aku mencoba untuk bernafas dari kehampaan udara disekitarku...
Meski akhirnya aku harus mati dan layu semoga dengan kematian ku dapat menambah kebahagiaan dan tawa diwajah-mu...
Tidak apa kamu memutus nafas jiwaku supaya engkau dapat memberi kehidupan untuk dirimu dan dirinya...
Jangan pernah berpaling ke belakang karena yang ada hanya-lah kegelapan, kekosongan dan aku...
Aku sudah sepatutnya musnah karena tak'kan pernah aku mampu memberikan kebahagiaan itu..

2008-12-07T19:30:00.002+07:00

Hal yang sangat menyedihkan adalah saat kau jujur pada temanmu, dia berdusta padamu ....
Saat dia telah berjanji padamu, dia mengingkarinya....
Saat kau memberikan perhatian, dia tidak menghargainya ...
Saat kau mengirimkan e-mail pada temanmu, dia menghapus tanpa membacanya...

Saat kau membutuhkan jawaban dari e-mailmu, dia tidak menjawab dan mengacuhkannya ...
Saat bertemu dengannya dan ingin menyapa, dia pura2 tidak melihatmu ...
Saat kau mencintainya dengan tulus tapi dia tidak mencintaimu ...
Saat dia yang kau sayangi tiba2 mengirimkan kartu undangan pernikahannya ....
Hal yang sangat mengecewakan adalah kau dibutuhkan hanya pada saat dia dalam kesulitan ...
Saat kau bersikap ramah, dia terkadang bersikap sinis padamu...
Saat kau butuh dia untuk berbagi cerita, dia berusaha untuk menghindarimu...

Jangan pernah menyesali atas apa yang terjadi padamu
Sebenarnya hal-hal yang kau alami sedang mengajarimu ....
Saat temanmu berdusta padamu atau tidak menepati janjinya padamu atau dia tidak menghargai perhatian yang kau berikan....sebenarnya dia telah mengajarimu agar kau tidak berprilaku seperti dia....

Saat temanmu menghapus e-mail yang kau kirim sebelum membacanya atau saat bertemu dengannya dan ingin menyapa, dia pura2 tidak melihatmu....sebenarnya dia telah mengajarkanmu agar tidak berprasangka buruk & selalu berpikiran positif bahwa mungkin saja dia pernah membaca e-mail yang kau kirim...atau mungkin saja dia tidak melihatmu....
Dan saat dia tidak menjawab e-mailmu .... sebenarnya dia telah mengajarkanmu untuk menjawab e-mail temanmu yang membutuhkan jawaban walaupun kau sedang sibuk dan jika kau tidak bisa menjawabnya katakan kalau kau belum bisa menjawabnya jangan biarkan e-mailnya tanpa jawaban karena mungkin dia sedang menunggu jawabanmu ....

Saat kau mencintainya dengan tulus tapi dia tidak mencintaimu atau di sayang kau sayangi tiba2 mengirimkan kartu undangan pernikahannya...sebenarnya sedang mengajarimu untuk ridha menerima takdirNya ....
Saat kau bersikap ramah tapi dia terkadang bersikap sinis padamu ....
sebenarnya dia sedang mengajarimu untuk selalu bersikap ramah pada siapapun ....
Saat kau butuh dia untuk berbagi cerita, dia berusaha untuk menghindarimu... sebenarnya dia sedang mengajarimu untuk menjadi seorang teman yang bisa diajak berbagi cerita, mau mendengarkan keluhan temanmu dan membantunya ....

Bila kau dibutuhkan hanya pada saat dia sedang dalam kesulitan ....sebenarnya juga telah mengajarimu untuk menjadi orang yang arif & santun, kau telah membantunya saat dia dalam kesulitan ....

Begitu banyak hal yang tidak menyenangkan yang sering kau alami atau bertemu dengan orang2 ya! ng menjengkelkan, egois dan sikap yang tidak mengenakkan ...
Dan betapa tidak menyenangkan menjadi orang yang dikecewakan, disakiti, tidak dipedulikan/dicuekin, tidak dihargai, atau bahkan mungkin dicaci dan dihina ...
Sebenarnya orang2 tsb. sedang mengajarimu untuk melatih membersihkan hati & jiwa, melatih untuk menjadi orang yang sabar dan mengajarimu untuk tidak berprilaku seperti itu ...

Mungkin Tuhan menginginkan kau bertemu orang dengan berbagai macam karakter yang tidak menyenangkan sebelum kau bertemu dengan orang yangmenyenangkan dalam kehidupanmu
dan kau harus mengerti bagaimanaberterimakasih atas karunia itu yang telah mengajarkan sesuatu yang paling berharga dalam hidupmu ...

i might ever put this article before..but i forget when.. Just now i read again all my old posted then i find this article... the suddenly i remember you, i remember all the deception and betrayed i had gone thru...and i remember you...
i know you're happy in your new life now,just forget me and leave me behind... just go...please don't go back...

2008-12-04T23:16:00.001+07:00

Letter from JESUS

As you well know, we are getting closer to my birthday. Every year there is a celebration in my honor and I think that this year the celebration will be repeated.

During this time there are many people shopping for gifts, there are many radio announcements, TV commercials, and in every part of the world everyone is talking that my birthday is getting closer and closer. It is really very nice to know, that at least once a year, some people think of me. As you know, the celebration of my birthday began many years ago. At first people seemed to understand and be thankful of all that I did for them, but in these times, no one seems to know the reason for the celebration. Family and friends get together and have a lot of fun, but they don't know the meaning of the celebration. I remember that last year there was a great feast in my honor. The dinner table was full of delicious foods, pastries, fruits, assorted nuts and chocolates. The decorations were exquisite and there were many, many beautifully wrapped gifts.

But, do you want to know something? I wasn't invited.

I was the guest of honor and they didn't remember to send me an invitation. The party was for me, but when that great day came, I was left outside, they closed the door in my face .. and I wanted to be with them and share their table. In truth, that didn't surprise me because in the last few years all close their doors to me. Since I wasn't invited, I decided to enter the party without making any noise. I went in and stood in a corner. They were all drinking; there were some who were drunk and telling jokes and laughing at everything. They were having a grand time.

To top it all, this big fat man all dressed in red wearing a long white beard entered the room yelling Ho-Ho-Ho! He seemed drunk. He sat on the sofa and all the children ran to him, saying: "Santa Claus, Santa Claus"as if the party were in his honor!

At midnight all the people began to hug each other; I extended my arms waiting for someone to hug me and do you know no-one hugged me. Suddenly they all began to share gifts. They opened them one by one with great expectation. When all had been opened, I looked to see if, maybe, there was one for me. What would you feel if on your birthday everybody shared gifts and you did not get one?

I then understood that I was unwanted at that party and quietly left. Every year it gets worse. People only remember the gifts, the parties, to eat and drink, and nobody remembers me. I would like this Christmas that you allow me to enter into your life. I would like that you recognize the fact that almost two thousand years ago I came to this world to give my life for you, on the cross, to save you.

Today, I only want that you believe this with all your heart. I want to share something with you. As many didn't invite me to their party, I will have my own celebration, a grandiose party that no one has ever imagined, a spectacular party. I'm still making the final arrangements..

Today I am sending out many invitations and there is an invitation for you. I want to know if you wish to attend and I will make a reservation for you and write your name with golden letters in my great guest book. Only those on the guest list will be invited to the party. Those who don't answer the invite, will be left outside. Be prepared because when all is ready you will be part of my great party.

See you soon. I Love you!

Jesus
Share this message with your loved ones, before Christmas

2008-12-04T23:11:00.002+07:00

Daily Bread : My Child

The words you are about to experience are true.
They will change your life if you let them.
For they come from the very heart of God... He loves you...
and He is the Father you have been looking for all your life.
This is His love letter to you...

My Child…
You may not know Me, but I know everything about you…
Psalm 139:1
I know when you sit down and when you rise up
Psalm 139:2
I am familiar with all your ways …
Psalm 139:3
Even the very hairs on your head are numbered…
Matthew 10:29-31
For you were made in My image …
Genesis 1:27
In Me you live and move and have your being …
Acts 17:28
For you are My offspring
…Acts 17:28
I knew you even before you were conceived …
Jeremiah 1:4-5
I chose you when I planned creation
…Ephesians 1:11-12
You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in My book…
Psalm 139:15-16
I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live …
Acts 17:26
You are fearfully and wonderfully made …
Psalm 139:14
I knit you together in your mother's womb …
Psalm 139:13
And brought you forth on the day you were born …
Psalm 71:6
I have been misrepresented by those who don't know Me …
John 8:41-44
I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love…
1 John 4:16
And it is My desire to lavish My love on you …
1 John 3:1
Simply because you are My child and I am your Daddy
…1 John 3:1
I offer you more than your earthly father ever could …
Matthew 7:11
For I am the perfect Daddy
…Matthew 5:48
Every good gift that you receive comes from My hand…
James 1:17
For I am your Provider and I meet all your needs …
Matthew 6:31-33
My plan for your future has always been filled with hope …
Jeremiah 29:11
Because I love you with an everlasting love
…Jeremiah 31:3
My thoughts towards you are countless as the sand on the seashore
...Psalms 139:17-18
And I rejoice over you with singing
…Zephaniah 3:17
I will never stop doing good to you …
Jeremiah 32:40
For you are My treasured possession …Exodus 19:5
I desire to establish you with all My heart and all My soul
…Jeremiah 32:41
And I want to show you great and marvelous things …
Jeremiah 33:3
If you seek Me with all your heart, you will find Me
…Deuteronomy 4:29
Delight in Me and I will give you the desires of your heart
…Psalm 37:4
For it is I who gave you those desires
…Philippians 2:13
I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine
…Ephesians 3:20
For I am your greatest encourager
…2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles
…2 Corinthians 1:3-4
When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you
…Psalm 34:18
As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to My heart
…Isaiah 40:11
One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes …Revelation 21:3-4
And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth
…Revelation 21:3-4
I am your Daddy, and I love you even as I love My son, Jesus
…John 17:23
For in Jesus, My love for you is revealed
…John 17:26
He is the exact representation of My being
…Hebrews 1:3
He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you
…Romans 8:31
And to tell you that I am not counting your sins
…2 Corinthians 5:18-19
Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled
…2 Corinthians 5:18-19
His death was the ultimate expression of My love for you…
1 John 4:10
I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love …
Romans 8:31-32
If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive Me …
1 John 2:23
And nothing will ever separate you from My love again
…Romans 8:38-39
Come home and I'll show the biggest party heaven has ever seen
…Luke 15:7
I have always been Daddy, and will always be Daddy
…Ephesians 3:14-15
My question is…Will you be My child?
…John 1:12-13
I am waiting for you …
Luke 15:11-32
Love, Your Dad... Almighty God

(Written by Barry Adams)

Mamma Mia!

2008-12-04T22:48:00.000+07:00

The great movie i ever saw since Sound of Music...
I never get tired watching this movie...

it's about Donna's life, a single parent for her young daughter Sophie, who's goin to get marriage with Sky a local guy and Sophie's friend since they're kids...

it's about Donna's first love that she thought had been gone away becos of his engadement...

it's about the strength of friendship....

it's about finding your true love.... someday!!!

2008-12-04T22:39:00.000+07:00

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Keep on Knocking, Keep on Asking, Keep on Seeking

When Colonel Harland Sanders retired at the age of 65, he had little to show for himself, except an old Caddie roadster, a $105 monthly pension check, and a recipe for chicken. Knowing he couldn't live on his pension, he took his chicken recipe in hand, got behind the wheel of his van, and set out to make his fortune. His first plan was to sell his chicken recipe to restaurant owners, who would in turn give him a residual for every piece of chicken they sold--5 cents per chicken. The first restaurateur he called on turned him down.

So did the second.

So did the third.

In fact, the first 1008 sales calls Colonel Sanders made ended in rejection. Still, he continued to call on owners as he traveled across the USA, sleeping in his car to save money. Prospect number 1009 gave him his first "yes."

After two years of making daily sales he had signed up a total of five restaurants. Still the Colonel pressed on, knowing that he had a great chicken recipe and that someday the idea would catch on. Of course, you know how the story ends. The idea DID catch on. By 1963 the Colonel had 600 restaurants across the country selling his secret recipe of Kentucky Fried Chicken (with 11 herbs and spices).

In 1964 he was bought out by future Kentucky governor John Brown. Even though the sale made him a multi-millionaire, he continued to represent and promote KFC until his death in 1990. Colonel Sanders' story teaches an important lesson: its never too late to decide to never give up.

Earlier in his life the Colonel was involved in other business ventures--but they weren't successful. He had a gas station in the 30's, a restaurant in the 40's, and he gave up on both of them. At the age of 65, however, Harland Sanders decided his chicken idea was the right idea, and he refused to give up, even in spite of repeated rejection.

He knew that if he kept on knocking on doors, eventually someone would say "yes." This is how Jesus has commanded to approach life. He said, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." (Luke 11:9) This verse follows a story Jesus told emphasizing the importance of a "never-give-up" attitude in prayer. Jesus is saying, "Ask--not just once, but as many times as is necessary. Keep on knocking till the door is opened." If you have made half-hearted attempts at doing God's will in your life...if you have given up too easily in the past...remember: It's never too late to become persistent. It's never too late to decide to never give up. Keep on knocking. Keep on asking. Keep on seeking.

Diposting oleh Yuliana di 4:24 AM

Dalam saat...

2008-12-04T22:04:00.000+07:00

Kamu adalah segala buat ku,

Pengorbananmu bagai sungai yang tak mau henti mengalir...

Entah apa yang bisa ku lakukan untuk bisa membuatmu selalu tersenyum,

bahkan matahariku tak mampu menggantikan senyummu...

Karang tak setegar dirimu untuk menghadapi diriku..Apa yang bisa kuberikan untukmu...

Untuk kamu yang disana...
dalam saat diam ku kerap ku baca peninggalan tulisan dari-mu...
dalam saat senyap-ku perlahan ku kenang kembali goresan tulisan-mu meski itu hanya basa-basi yang engkau lontarkan sekedar pelengkap topeng dusta-mu...
dalam saat kerinduan ku coba resapi setiap arti yang mungkin tersirat dalam setiap penggal kata-kata yang tersurat...
dan...
dalam saat kepergian-ku untuk terakhir kali ku nikmati dusta yang pernah ber-arti dalam hidup ku...

Hakuna matata...

2008-12-04T21:46:00.001+07:00

Timon: Hakuna Matata! What a wonderful phrase

Pumbaa: Hakuna Matata! Ain't no passing craze

Timon: It means no worriesssssssss for the rest of your days

Timon & Pumbaa: It's our problem-free philosophy

Pumbaa: Hakuna Matata!

Simba: Hakuna Matata???????!!!!!!

Timon: Yeah. It's our motto!

Simba: What's a motto???

Timon: Nothing. What's a-motto with you?

Simba: Those two words will solve all your problems

Timon: That's right. Take Pumbaa here
Why, when he was a young warthog...

Pumbaa: When I was a young wart hog

Timon: Very nice

Pumbaa: Thanks

Timon: He found his aroma lacked a certain appeal
He could clear the savannah after every meal

Pumbaa: I'm a sensitive soul though I seem thick-skinned
And it hurt that my friends never stood downwind
And oh, the shame He was ashamed
Thought of changin' my name What's in a name?
And I got downhearted How did ya feel?
Everytime that I...

Timon: Hey! Pumbaa! Not in front of the kids!
Pumbaa: Oh. Sorry

Timon & Pumbaa: Hakuna Matata! What a wonderful phrase
Hakuna Matata! Ain't no passing craze

Simba: It means no worries for the rest of your days

Timon, Pumbaa & Simba: It's our problem-free philosophy

vicky log's on missing sum1

2008-12-04T21:35:00.001+07:00

Hal pertama yang ku tanyakan pada diriku,"apa yang ku suka dari-mu?"
Saat usiaku jauh dari pengenalan akan cinta, namun saat aku melihatmu pertama kali ada ssesuatu yang membuat ku ingin terus berada disisimu... dan mataku selalu haus mencari akan dirimu...
Ada saat dimana aku mengerti ini adalah "kegilaan" cinta yang bersifat sementara dan berlalunya pun secepat angin berhembus.
Namun seiring waktu berjalan, disetiap pertemuan jiwaku merasakan suatu kesukacitaan saat melihat sosok dirimu..
Kini, dalam masa kedewasaanku, rasa itu tetap ada, tetap membungkus hati dan jiwaku dengan kekaguman dan cinta yang terus menghangatkan hati ini disaat engkau ada disini..
Namun seiring roda kehidupan yang terus berputar hatiku terbangun dari mimpi kerinduan itu, dan dalam sadarnya berkata,"rindu itu hanya mimpiku..."

dedicated to sum1 there..."please tell me what should i do.." 0801

Vicky's Log on Sunday Noon at Bnet ~ 15.12

2008-11-16T15:05:00.000+07:00

Siang bolong, ngabrit ke warnet abies selama satu bulan ini compie gue ga bisa buat buka blogger, pdhal banyak banged yang ingin gue tuang dalam bentuk tulisan, semua perasaan seneng, sedih, perasaan datar, kesel, demen,en semua perasaan yang ga tentu...
Alhasil siang ini gue nge-jogrok depan compie di ruang yg aduhai...ademm..nyooosss, sambil menuangkan semua uneg-uneg kehidupan gue dalam halaman blogger gue tercinta ini :)

Friday nite, 20.00wib ~grogol zone~ chat with Ucok...
"beaware trid, what happen now with our life perhaps its our prayer's answer from the past..." kalimat itu membuat gue bergidik, benarkah apa yang kita alami sekarang adalah jawaban doa-doa kita di masa lalu, hanya saja memori kita sebagai manusia sangat terbatas jadi kita lupa dengan apa yg pernah kita ucapkan dalam doa-doa kita ke Bapa di Sorga...tiba-tiba ingatan gue langsung ngabrit ke elo..ga tau napa jadi connect ke situ yah... dan gue teringat akan doa-doa gue yg lalu,ooopsss tiba-tiba gue jadi terhenyak, gue memang pernah berkata-kata untuk tidak mau jatuh cinta lagi...parah ga tuuhh... tapi napa sekarang malah hati gue jd "nyosor" ke elo ya?! gue sendiri bingung..
Jujur beberapa hari belakangan ini hati gue "porak-poranda" dengan kehadiran image elo yang mondar-mandir ga karuan... saat gue kangen pengen ketemu elo ga pernah nongol, ampe gue bosen dan nyerah and give up sambil bilang "gue ga akan mau kangen ama elo lagi.... karena dr pertama ini semua ga bener!" tapi saat gue minta bantuan Sang Khalik utk tidak mempertemukan gue dengan elo, tiba2 ajah elo nongol 3 hari ber-turut2, ga ada ujan, ga ada angin, ga ada gledek...just dateng gitu aja, meski konteksnya elo dateng ga utk ketemu gue! Cuma kejadian waktu hari Kamis malem kemarin ini (13 November 2008) gue bener2 diperhadapkan dengan elo, my Gossh... gue musti ngapain, dan yang sialnya gue ngoceh nyerocos ga karuan hy krn gue grogi ketemu elo...gw ga ng-ijin-kan ruang kosong diantara kita, gue takut elo bisa ngebaca isi hati dan pikiran serta perasaan gue hy dg memandang mata gue...tapi jujur gue kangen banged saat2 malam natal itu...

Tapi jangan kuatir, gue cukup tau diri saat Tuhan menjawab gue dg menunjukan elo sekarang udah ga sendirian, ada seseorang yg mengisi hati elo... hihihi lucu ada yg kosong dan hampa dlm hati gue, semaleman gue nangis after i heard about that tapi gue udah ijin koq sama Yang Diatas supaya He allowed me untuk "menangis semalam" seperti judul lagu Audy...hehehehe...

Sekarang hati gue masih terasa sunyi dan sepi... tapi gue ga apa-apa... waktu akan bantu gue melupakan dan menghapus gambar diri elo dari hidup gue... trima kasih untuk saat-saat indah malam natal itu... gue bener-bener suka sama elo, sayang dan... wink..wink...wink...

Saturday Nite, 15 November 2008 ~Renungan Harian~
gue inget elo lagi tau napa gitu, ga tau harus buat apa iseng gue buka Buku Kehidupan yang slalu ada sejak gue orok :) gue baca, disitu ditulis ttg menjadi hidup benar agar bisa menjadi berkat bagi sesama... tiba2 gue bertanya apakah gue mampu melakukan itu?
Aplikasi-nya dg kaitan akan diri elo, gue berharap bisa menjadi "berkat" bagi elo...but it's only wishful thinking....
Malemnya gue berdoa diam2 ttg perasaan gue ke elo dan mengatakan, Tuhan gue sebenarnya kangen sama dia(elo), gue menyayanginya, gue ingin ketemu dia, gue ingin duduk semaleman sama dia berbicara tentang banyak hal dan saling mengenal, gue ingin melihat senyum manisnya,gue ingin dia menjadi bagian dalam hidup gue.... gue minta maaf saat ada kesempatan gue menunjukan perasaan itu semua itu gue tampik dan gue lewati krn gue berpikir hubungan itu tidak bisa terjadi dan tidak mungkin terjadi.... dan gue juga bilang Tuhan kalo gue kuatir akan diri elo kalo elo abies dr tempat "nongkrong" dan harus mengendarri motor dalam keadaan setengah teler..... Tapi semua itu harus ber-akhir dan got to stop... ga bole dilanjutkan cos it isn't right... jadi gue berdoa lagi untuk kebahagiaan elo bersama se-seorang dihati kamu itu, berdoa supaya dia menyayangi elo apa adanya, dan gue juga berdoa supaya elo ga minder lagi dan jangan kehilangan cinta lagi yg pernah elo alami, gue ga mau elo teler hy krn pernah di"lukai" oleh cinta, gue bener2 berharap elo bahagia...

Nah itu seklumit crita dihari minggu... dan mungkin bila nanti kita akan bertemu lagi, mungkin dalam kemasan cerita hidup yang ber-beda...

CiAo...

2008-11-16T14:46:00.000+07:00

Dear Lord...

I can't erase his image from my mind, please tell me what shud i do about it?
I got Your sign thru the situation and i think that also become my prayer's answer about him...
Those memories on X'Mas Eve really had scraped into my heart...deeply!
The way he stared, he smiled, he walked beside me, he sang... gee i miss those moments Lord, X'Mas Eve moment..
I'm sorry for those feelings i have for him but yes i miss him quietly..
Please help me to wash away all these feelings.. therefor i could obey and do all of YOUR will...

Amen

Catatan Malam Natal 2007

2008-11-16T14:14:00.000+07:00

Tak pernah terpikirkan oleh ku malam natal itu membuat aku menjadi lebih memperhatikan kehadiran-mu...
Masih lekat dibenak-ku saat engkau bernyanyi bersama, saat engkau tersenyum, saat engkau tertawa... Ku nikmati semua itu secara diam-diam dan dengan sedikit sikap acuh aku berharap tak ada siapapun termasuk engkau yang menangkap debar jantungku yang mulai tak beraturan setiap kita ber-adu pandang. Dan saat engkau mengajak ku ber-duet...eehhmm... saat engkau bernyanyi dan tiba-tiba engkau menyandarkan kepalamu dibahu-ku sambil terus menyanyikan lagu "endless love"-nya marian carey, sambil tersenyum engkau memandangku begitu dekat seakan memasuki kedalaman hatiku, dan aku masih merasakan jantungku yang hampr "rontok" karena sinar yang ada dimatamu... walau aku sadar "sikap"mu tak lebih karena pengaruh banyaknya wine yang engkau minum...
Menjelang fajar kita trus bernyanyi bersama, tanpa sadar aku berdoa agar engkau tak segera berlalu..
Se-iring datangnya sinar mentari memasuki "pelataran" pagi, engkau harus berlalu dari hadapanku, masih sangat kentaldi benak-ku saat aku berkata,"...standard motor tuh..." dan saat itu tiba-tiba aku merasa mengkuatirkan akan keselamatan-mu dan tanpa sadar rasa itu tersirat dalam pandangan dan suaraku...namun dengan pandangan dan sinar mata yang lembut engkau memandangku dan mengangguk... saat itu pula ku sadari aku mulai suka kepadamu..dan aku pikir aku tlah jatuh cinta kepadamu...

Namun semua kerinduan dan rasa cinta itu ku simpan lekat-lekat dari diri-mu, aku takut sedikit kata cinta atau sikap-ku yang mewakilkan cinta dapat menjadi "racun" yang mematikan saat-saat terdalam itu.... waktu terus bergulir...

Hingga kini aku mendengar sudah ada se-seorang yang mengisi hati dan hari-harimu, entah mengapa ada rasa kehilangan akan dirimu, ada rasa sedih yg menyeruak dan menggantung di hatiku..
Malam ini biarkan aku menangisi kehilanagn akan dirimu, esok hari menjadi hari baru bagiku, hari-hari dimana aku mulai berhenti mengharapkan kehadiranmu...

Aku berdoa engkau bahagia dan merasakan lagi keindahan CINTA yang pernah hilang dari hidup-mu...

Selamat Malam....

~ Grogol 07 November 2008 ~

Cerita tentangnya

2008-08-23T13:25:00.000+07:00

Pertama kenal kamu, gue sampe ga mau menyapa kamu cos u remind me of sum1, kamu mengingatkan gue akan sosok yg gue cintai namun ingin gue lupakan. Dari cara kamu berjalan, postur tubuh, bahkan sampai jenis rambut. Seiring waktu berjalan gue mulai tau siapa nama kamu, asal kamu, daerah tempat tinggal kamu, sekolah kamu dan hal-hal lainnya ttg kamu. Beberapa lama kemudian kita mulai bicara dan bertukar pikiran, disitu aku tahu kebiasaan kamu, cerita hidup kamu dan keluarga kamu....
Entah sejak kapan saat kita memutuskan to had this HTS situation... aku terbiasa untuk tidak mengingat waktu-waktu kita menghabiskan waktu bersama krn utk aku ini hy suatu permainan pengisi waktu kosong, hingga tanpa sadar aku "terjerumus" dalam permainan hati yg ternyata mampu mengecoh rasa dalam hati ku...
Bersama dirimu menghabiskan waktu cukup membuat aku melupakan akan sedihnya suatu pengkhianatan dan luka dusta yg menoreh dalam hati-ku, namun saat kenyataan terungkap akan keberadaan dibalik sikap dan ulah dirimu, aku menyadari kini waktunya melepas semua "topeng' permainan hati ini, aku tidak mau lagi terbelenggu lebih dalam pada permaianan tak beujung ini...
Terimakasih untuk masa-masa indah dengan-mu, terimakasih untuk menemaniku melewati hari-hari sedihku.... aku akan baik-baik saja, sedih itu akan tetap ada karena ia adalah bagian dalam lingkaran hidup ku, hingga waktunya rasa sedih itu aku lepaskan sebelum aku memasuki gerbang keabadian jiwa dimana setiap roh akan mengalaminya....

2008-08-23T13:23:00.000+07:00

Serpong, 22 Agustus 2008
Berangkat jam 10.15 ditengah terik-nya matahari yang bersinar seperti membakar bumi..plus nunggu di halte bus yg dibungkus dengan hawa panas plus debu yg berterbangan tanapa rasa kesopanan...akhirnya setelah nunggu setengah jam muncul entu bus yg gue tunggu 103 Grogol - Kb.Nanas tulisan yg tertera di papan penunjuk jalur, langsung gue ngabrit naik dan menambil tempat duduk yg cukup cozzy enough dg hembusan angin yg moga-moga bisa menggantikan hawa AC yg sejuk...
Perlahan bus mulai merangkak..pelan bangeds rupanya sambil nunggu penumpang yang lain juga berebut naik bus seperti berebut mau masuk surga...hehehehe... gue nyantai ajah secara ud dapet tempat yg enak :) Ga butuh waktu lama rupanya utk membuat gue ngantuk, krn semilir angin yg sepai-sepoi ditambah gue telat tidur td malem lengkap deh rasa kantuk menyerang mata gue tanpa ampun, dan sejenak gue terbawa alam mimpi ditengah hari yg panas, tiba-tiba gue nge-rasa hawa AC berubah jd hawa "lidah api" rupanya entu bus nge-tem di depan pintu tol... "aje gile?!" pekik gue dalam hati, ini negara bener2 udah ga ada aturan, bayangin masa bus diboleh-in ngetem bentaran depan pintu tol....hebaat eeuuyy?! hebat pisan...!!! tp akhirnya masuk juga tuh bus ke jalur tol yg sebenarnya, dan mulai-lah perjalanan gue menuju BSD-Tangerang...1 jam 1/2 perjalanan lewat tol, begitu nyampe Kb.Nanas gue harus turun, si kenek yg baik hati ngebantuin ngasiy tau tempat gue hrs turun, begitu kaki gue menginjak tanah Tangerang... busyeett, debu di Grogol dan hawa panasnya seperti ga ada apa-apa-nya dibanding di Tangerang... ga ada pohon yg warnanya ijo, yg gue liat cuma teriknya matahari dan debu panas, ampe gue pikir jangan-jangan gunung Galunggung meletus lagi neehhh... setelah gue naek tangga penyebrangan ~ yg tingginya ampe nyamain tugu Monas ~ utk naik angkot yg menuju BSD akhirnya dapet juga tuh angkot, mobil ber-ukuran petit warna ijo tua, gue langsung duduk di deket sopir supaya ga nyasar! ampe di Alam Sutra gue turun dan Om Tony udah nunggu deket MCDonald ~24 hours cing~ dengan sedan-nya..asyyikkk AC akhirnya i found you ^_^
Nyampe di kediaman AM ~Antony Marcha~ gue langsung diajak makan di RM Padang dan sumpe rendangnya enak bangeds plus tahu goreng yg ada "kriuk-kriuk"nya, trus pulang dan mulai deh kita rapi-rapi sambil bantu Jela masak Rawon...
Lucunya, pas gue bantuin Jela masak ada buah yg namanya kluwek, bentuknya seperti kenari tapi besar, kalo mau buka entu buah kita harus getok kulitnya sekencang2nya supaya isinya bisa dikluarin... gile, pertama kali masak gue bilang jela,"gue blajar masak tapi kenapa berasanya jd tukang bangunan ya..."hahahahahaha........
akhirnya jadi juga rawon buatan Jela dan rasanya...maaaakk nyooosss... hebat juga ternyata sodara gue tuh...
Akhir crita ibadah dimulai, selesai jam 20.30 wib dan para undangan langsung makan, dan semua pada nambah, tau krn enak atau laper ya..eehhmm... i have to ask them i think :)
gue pulang dan bilk ke rumah jam 22.00wib, tapi baru bisa tidur jam 04.00 subuh..gila ga tuh! ^o^
Cat: resep utk rawon menyusul yah...

BAPA

2008-08-23T12:12:00.000+07:00

"Bapa kami yang di Sorga...." seberapa jauh makna perkataan itu untuk diri kita?" demikian kalimat yang di ucapkan oleh Pa Tambun dalam khotbah semalam di rumah Om Tony pada ibadah Rumah Tangga dalam rangka HUT Om Tony. "Bapa" seberapa jauh kita maksud-kan perkataan tersebut dalam memanggil Sang Khalik, apakah kita benar bersikap sebagai anak, apakah kita benar-benar mempercayai-NYA sbagai BAPA dalam hidup kita? ataukah itu hanya sebutan sebatas doa yg diajarkan oleh pendahulu-pendahulu kita?

Entah mengapa, kata-kata tersebut me"nyentil" telinga gue dan juga sekaligus perasaan gue yg terdalam. Akhir-akhir ini dengan se-jubleg kesibukan pekerjaan dan perasaan tanpa sadar gue mulai me-jauhkan diri dari BAPA yang senantiasa memperhatikan hidup gue... dengan seribu macam alasan dan sanggahan gue berusaha absen dalam jam pertemuan dg-NYA.

BAPA... kerapkali gue menyebut perkataan itu dlm doa-doa gue, entah kenapa mungkin hy mencoba utk membuat diri gue merasa dekat dengan Sang Pencipta Kehidupan, namun pada kenyataan gue tidak pernah percaya kepada-NYA layaknya seorang anak yg percaya kepada Bapanya. BAPA kata itu hy menjadi penghias kata dlm doa-doa yg gue panjatkan tanpa memiliki arti apapun. Seringkali gue merasa BAPA mengapa seorang BAPA membiarkan masalah dalam hidup anak-NYA dibiarkan terlalu lama, mengapa seorang BAPA bisa diam saja saat sang anak menjerit kesakitan akibat ulah ke"nakal"annya, tidak bisakah Sang BAPA memeluknya sebentar tanpa harus menjanjikan semua akan baik-baik saja... just a hug, a simple hug...

Perkataan tersebut bermain-main kembali dalam benak pikiran gue, dan kesalahan tidak ada dalam diri BAPA, sang anak-lah yg seharusnya datang dan mempercayai Sang BAPA...seringkali anak yang memberontak,menghentak tangan Sang Bapa saat DIA sedang memeluk dan memberi kita perlindungan hy krn kita merasa "pelukkanNYA" tidak cukup hangat utk memberi kita rasa aman. Seringkali kita "pergi" dari hadapan-Nya hanya karena kita merasa BAPA tidak cukup mengerti apa yg terbersit dalam hati dan pikiran yg kita rasakan dan kita memilih untuk mencari "jalan" lain yg dapat memenuhi kepuasan keinginan kita...

BAPA... seberapa jauh kita mengenal sosokNYA yg membuat kita pantas memanggil diriNYA dengan kata itu? seberapa percaya-nya kita pada DIA hingga membuat kita berhak mendapat kesempatan untuk menjadi anak-NYA?

BAPA KAMI YANG DI SORGA.... DIKUDUSKANLAH NAMA-MU
DATANGLAH KERAJAAN-MU, JADILAH KEHENDAK-MU, DIBUMI SEPERTI DI SURGA
BERILAH KAMI PADA HARI MAKANAN KAMI YANG SECUKUPNYA
DAN AMPUNILAH KAMI, SEPERTI KAMI MENGAMPUNI ORANG YANG BERSALAH KEPADA KAMI
DAN JANGANLAH BAWA KAMI KE DALAM PENCOBAAN TAPI LEPASKANLAH KAMI DARIPADA YANG JAHAT...
KARENA ENGKAULAH YANG EMPUNYA KERAJAAN, DAN KUASA, DAN KEMULIAAN
SAMPAI SELAMA-LAMANYA...

When Love and Hate Collide...

2008-08-20T19:39:00.001+07:00

Gal : “elo ama mereka ajah, asal ga sama gue, supaya usaha elo ga sia-sia, toh mereka akan ngurusin elo, gue khan udah selesai elo @#$% “

Guy : “dear, napa kamu ngirim sms seperti itu… koq gue jadi jelek banged dimata kamu!”

Gal : “dari omongan elo ke die dari ngajakin “nginep” ampe janjian masuk sabtu, ampe nemenin makan, cukup utk gw melihat niat elo, silahkan ke dia ajah, gw out!”

Guy : “penjelasan gue, bukan gue yg ngajak masuk barengan, dia ngajak gue masuk sabtu krn die juga masuk, soal nemenin makan dia juga yg ngajak utk makan bakso bareng dan dia juga yg traktir, soal ngajak “nginep” …. He stoped, “harusnya gue yg marah krn setiap gue telpon kamu ga pernah mau angkat, berkali-kali… tapi gue coba ngerti mungkin kamu udah tidur atau sibuk”

Gal : “U shud not giving me any explanation about you and her or with the others, maaf jg utk pemikiran gue yg negative, gw hanya melihat dari sikap dan perkataan kamu ke mereka selama ini”

Gal : “gue mmg childish dlm perasaan, mknya kamu ama yg laen ajah ama gue Cuma nyusahin, kalo cemburu mungkin YA mungkin TIDAK, rasa cemburu Cuma bole ada antar kekasih bukan utk HTS!

Guy : “Memang kamu menilai gue segitu buruk-nya?!Usaha gue ke mereka?usaha apa maksud kamu?emang gue usaha apa ke mereka? dan kamu ga pernah menanyakan ke gue khan ttg apa yg kamu katakan tadi, kamu hy men-judge gue berdasarkan pemikiran kamu! Apa dimata kamu gue cowo yg suka @#$% kamu? Emang gue cowo apa-an?!”

Gal : “Ga tau yg bisa jawab itu semua Cuma kamu! Btw, elo bole2 aja koq marah gw about telpon ga diangkat, sungguhan,tp jangan galak-galak ya marahnya,takut…hehehehehe!”

15 Agustus 2008

2008-08-20T18:17:00.000+07:00

Sore ini after office hours koq gue jadi bete ga tau harus nulis apa dan buat apa…secara pas Rabu gue abies marahin orang dg satu kalimat “elo jahat, tau gak?!” Oiya, gw share tentang kejadian satu hari ini ya… well, today gue begun with moody feeling, mau kerja males, mau masuk males, mau bangun tidur males, mau ber-aktifitas males… pokoke serba males dech, ampe tiba-tiba gue baca di kalender gue God’s word which is say this “Janganlah engkau lupa memperkatakan kitab Taurat ini, tetapi renungkanlah itu siang dan malam, supaya engkau bertindak hati-hati sesuai dengan segala yang tertulis di dalamnya, sebab dengan demikian perjalananmu akan berhasil dan engkau akan beruntung” (Yosua 1 : 8 ) Then the next minutes somehow that sentences gave me strength to thru this day. Hari ini juga untuk makan siang yang masuk ke perut gue hanya semangkok bakso ~ga urat~ plus-plus J plus tahu en bihun, pdhal naga-naga dalam perut gue udah berteriak kegirangan dikirain mau gue umpanin pizza, tapi yg membuat delicious adalah gue makan dengan sahabat gue Amoy, nge-liat dia makan sumpe elo pasti ikutan laper, pdhal porsi die makan ama gue kayanya laperan porsi gue, Cuma jangankan bakso if you saw Amoy makan tempe ajah keliatannya uueeennnaaak tenan, ga tau deh tuh anak pake jampi-jampi apa-an sampe orang ikutan ngiler, hehehehe… pulang dr lunch kerjaan udah nunggu eh, ditambah memo untuk buat surat undangan Rapat Paripurna lengkaplah sudah kesibukan menjelang sore hari, blom lagi ditambah gue kudu nge-bongkar bahan-bahan untuk lampiran entu surat undangan..ppffuuiihhh...

15.30 tiba-tiba bunyi yg ga asing di telinga berbunyi "neng..neng..neng..." ~ini bukan lagi manggil cewe lho~ bel ibadah sore, cepet-cepet deh gue pending pekerjaan apapun yg lg gue kerja-in utk hadir dalam ibadah layaknya seorang malaikat...hihihhihi... gue ambil posisi yg wenak dan duduk manis, tapi sesuatu yg ga sopan terjadi, napa pas khotbah gue mata gue seperti digandulin besi ber-tons, gile nape ye godaan ini slalu mencobai akiu ^_^ gue berjuang utk teteup membuka mata sampe titik khotbah penghabisan :D dan berhasil juga gue...ciihuuyy...
after bidden gue langsung ngabrit ke ruangan untuk nerusin kerja-an ~critanya pegawai teladan ~gaji bawahan kerjaan Boss~ hahahahaha... trus gue lanjutin deh kerjaan gue...nah selesai deh, pas 16.00 meja gue yg biasanya kaya kapal titanic pecah sekarang udah rapi pisan... soale gue mau pulang ^_^ asyik-nya di tawarin tebengan ampe senen,oh asyik-nya...
Nah, kayanya ojeg gratisan gue udah bersuara, time to go home now... gue cabs dulu lanjut selasa ye, soale senen libur kemerdekaan.. oiya Merdeka...

16 tahun 7 bulan

2008-08-09T14:12:00.000+07:00

16 Tahun 7 bulan at IBS,

"...gosh,have i that long working here?!" that's the sentence that play in my mind right now. I sit at my cozy office, and looking at my works and wonder how greatful i am become one of IBS Family... Alot of lessons i had got since i've been working here... Alot of stories had been scrap into my life during my exsitance in IBS... I have best friends even some of them apparently gave me huge dissapointed, loosing my trust and become a stranger to each other, but basicly i love this office so much!
Now, i have my own desk and room, and i have alot of this jobs tobe done, sometimes it makes me so exhausted but in other hands i greatful with those jobs cos they make me forget all the sadness and problems in my head, i could thru a day and get survive from the tears, now in the middle of today i thank Lord for all the things that ever hapen in my life, no matter how hard that problem is gonna be but i thank to The Lord...
16 tahun 7 bulan di Lembaga Alkitab, gue mendapatkan 2 orang trully friends, 3 cowok (well...ex cowo, ehmm satu cuma utk iseng, guess who :D~) dan melewati hari-hari yang menyenangkan dan menyedihkan disini.

Stupidness :
~ fall in love with wrong persons, but my first love in here... guess i wasn't that luck with 1st love ^_^
- Mempercayai seseorang dan get hurt again,hanya karena gue terlalu polos menilai seseorang akan be kind if we do the same thing, ternyata kehidupan tidak seperti itu.
- Got betray by my own best friend, thought she was honest but at the end i recognise her trully "mask"
- Kehilangan seorang sahabat hanya karena pertengkaran bodoh dikarenakan ke-egoisan masing-masing pihak, dan yg pasti karena perbedaan prinsip yang ternyata lebih terlihat sekarang-sekarang ini.
- Mengenal seorang cowo, and i thought i loved him ditengah-tengah permasalahan kehidupan romance gue. I thought he was kind and honest, ternyata dia ga lebih dari bajingan berwajah handsome... perkataan yg dikeluarkan ga pernah ada yang bener, bahkan dia sempet memfitnah gue,lucunya dia pikir gue ga tau apa-apa soal ke"gatel"annya melihat cewe, satu hal yg membuat gue puas dia ga tau ternyata orang yg dia pikir jujur mengkhianati dia di belakangnya sementara dia merasa berhasil membohongi cewe-cewe itu....cihuuyy, feels gud ngeliat orang bodoh merasa pinter :D cucian... untung gue udah ga berhubungan dg-nya, ga penting deehh sepertinya kehadiran dia dalam hidup gue...hehehehehe...oopsss sorry!! tapi itu kenyataannya sih say yg gue rasa...mahap yaaaa... just beware you back ajah, ga semua sama seperti yg elo liat dan dengar...^O^

Happiness :
- i learnt about true friendship... and still.... alot with fights and misunderstanding but by the end we realise our stupidness and fix it and become happily ever after...
- My personality little by little get firm, i learn how to deal and facing alot of people which are help me in the outside world from this office. i learn how to use times perfectly, i learnto accept people's weakness maturaly, i learn to separated between personal matters and works, and most of all i learn to forgive and forget...
- Mendapati kesempatan untung membuktikan skill gue as a gud employee, banyak ternyata yg harus gue kejar dan bahkan semua itu memberi gue kesempatan untuk maju dan menjadi lebih baik dihari-hari ke depan...
- dengan bantuan sahabat2 gue (AY en VT) belajar melupakan masa lalu dan meninggalkan semua kenangan buruk.... mereka stil gokil dan sableng, tapi cukup serious untuk menyelsaikan tanggung jawab pekerjaan-nya.

FUNNY THINGS:
- there was a time i walk with Tuti from Atrium to her stay (kost)... gile begitu nyampe entu kaki rasanya udah segde kaki gajah... stupidnya kita baru nyadar setelah deket daerah salemba...tapi ternyata kita wanita-wanita perkasa yang bisa melakukan hal yg "unik" hanya karena asyik ngobrol...hehehehehe...
- Pernah dalam acara Natal kantor ampir salah nyolek orang, maksutnya mau isengin Pa Gustaaf (former employee) tapi karena perawakannya sama dengan "powerful man" of LAI yg gue colek malah pimpinan gue... busyet untung Tuhan sayang sama gue sebelum jari gue berhasil menjalankan "misi" iseng tersebut gue mengenali tampang si boss dari samping dan yg ada gue langsung berhenti dan ngaaaaaabriiitttt !" ^o^
- Lagi asyik kerja untuk ngejar date-line eh malah di ganggu ama "penunggu" kantor...hhiiiyyyyy, emang ga ada bentuk cuma suara doang, cuma lumayan buat gue ngabrit dan matiin kompie langsung cabut dari steker ga pake on/of lagi tuhhh...hehehehehe, abies emang gue penakut sama yang namanya "klenik" thing :D
- Pulang dugem kemaleman nge-check satpam-nya sapa dan numpang tidur di kantor... busyet bukannya tidur nyenyak malah kedinginan gara-gara AC yang amit-amit dingin-nya seampun2... well drpd jadi donor untuk nyamuk dan sodara2nya yah terpaksa gue milih dingin, anggep ajah lagi membiasakan diri nanti kalo ke swiss ^o^
16 tahun 7 bulan, banyak kenangan indah dan cerita-cerita yg mengukir dan memperindah hidup gue, semua ga bisa gue ulang hanya dapat gue ingat dan simpan dalam ingatan gue....

Masker Alami

2008-08-09T13:26:00.000+07:00

Banyak sekali buah-buahan yang dapat digunakan untuk membuat masker alami ini, diantaranya seperti, avokad, stroberi, almond, lemon, dan anggur.
TIPS Pada umumnya aneka buah-buahan alami aman digunakan pada kulit apabila dalam dosis yang tepat. Namun pada kukit sensitif, kadang masih bereaksi pada bahan alami tersebut, seperti gatal atau iritasi ringan. Untuk mencobanya pada kulit, oleskan sedikit bahan masker tersebutdi punggung tangan atu wajah selama beberapa saat. Bila kulit tidak merasakan gatal atau yang lainnya, Itu berarti kulit kulit Anda aman dengan kandungan bahan masker tersebut. Selamat Mencoba.

STROBERI
Khasiat : Buah berwarna cerah ini banyak mengandung asam salisiat (salah satu jenis asam beta- hidroksi yang membantu mengencangan kulit), silika, serta vitamin B, C, E dan K. Dengan kemampuannya menyehatkan dan meremajakan kulit. Masker ini cocok digunakan untuk hampir semua jenis kulit. Dapat digunakan 2x dalam seminggu.

Cara Membuatnya & Menggunakannya :
• Hancurkan beberapa buah stroberi yang telah dipisahkan dari tangkai dan daunnya
• Usapkan 2 sendok makan hancuran stroberi tadi pada wajah dan biarkan selama 15 menit
• Setelah itu, bilas dengan air steril atau air hangat biasa
• Untuk mendapat efek toning yang lebih kuat, tambahkan sedikit putih telur, kocok, satu sendok makan air mawar dan beberapa tetes minyak esensial yang aman dengan kulit wajah.

AVOKAD ( ALPUKAT )
Khasiat : Avokad kaya akan asam amino dan vitamin, sehingga cocok digunakan sebagai masker pencegah penuaan dini pada kulit wajah.
Cara Membuat & Mengguna kannya :
- Untuk Kulit Wajah Kering
• Tumbuk daging avokad matangdengan garpu
• Oleskan pada wajah, biarkan selama 30 menit
• Bilas dengan air hangat atau air mawar mengunakan kapas

- Untuk Kulit normal
• Tambahkan putih telur yang dikocok sebentar
• Bagi kulit lembab, perlu ditambahkan pula madu ( organik bila ada ) , kemudian aduk rata dengan hancurandaging avokad dan putih telur kocok .

ALMOND
Khasiat : Dapat menghaluskan kulit kasar karena banyak mengandung mineral, vitamin A dan B, dan asam oleat. Almond dapat dibuat menjadi masker maupun lotion. Dapat digunakan 1x dalam seminggu.
Cara Membuat & Menggunakannya :
• Hancurkan sekitar 50 gram almond kupasdengan mortar atau food processor
• Kocok 3 sendok makan susu full-fat sampai membentuk pasta halus ( tidak perlu terlalu lama )
• Bila perlu, tambahkan 1 atau 2 tetes rose otto essensial oil
• Oleskan pada wajah dan biarkan samapi kering
• Kemudian bersihkan dengan kapasdan air hangat

TOMAT
Khasiat : Mengandung protein, fosfor,besi, belerang, vitamin A, B1, dan C.
Cara Membuat & Menggunakannya :
- Untuk menghaluskan wajah
• Ambil tomat yang sudah matang, iris dan gosokkan pada wajah
• Atau, bisa juga buah tomat diperas, kemudian air perasannya dioleskan setiap hari ke wajah

- Untuk pelindung dari sengatan matahari
• Ambil daun tomat secukupnya
• Lalu remas-remas dengan sedikit air
• Kemudian tempelkan pada wajah sebagai penyejuk wajah

ANGGUR
Khasiat : Kaya akan trace mineral, kalsium, magnesiaum, potassum, vitamin B1, B2, b3, B5, B6, C dan senyawa-senyawa flavonoid. Hampir semua jenis anggur yang warnanya berbeda, dapat digunkan untuk lotion. Perlu diperhatikan jus anggur yang telah dibuat, harus disaring terlebih dahulu. Lotion anggur dapat digunkan setiap hari karena baik digunakan untuk hampir semua jenis kulit.
Cara Membuat & Menggunakannya :
• Hancurkan beberapa anggur yang culup untuk menghasilkan 2 sendok makan jus.
• Saring jus tersebut
• Oleskan pada wajah dengan menggunakan kapas
• Setelah 20 menit, bilas dengan air mawar

LEMON
Khasiat : Mengandung vitamin A, C, B1, B2, dan B3. Sangat baik untuk kulit berminyak, namun lotionnya juga bekerja efektif pada kulit normal. Dapat digunakan setipa hari.
Cara Membuat & Menggunakannya :

( untuk satu minggu pemakaian )
• Tambahkan 1 sendok teh jus lemon pada putih telor kocok
• Oleskan pada wajah dan biarkan 10 menit
• Setelah itu bersihkan dengan air mawar atau air hangat

Cara Membuat Lotion Lemon :
• Tambahkan satu sendok teh jus lemon pada 100 ml air mawar dan 50ml witchazel
• Usapkan pada wajah dengan kapas bersih

PISANG
Khasiat : Mengandung serotinin, pektin, tanin, noradrenalin, 5 hidroksitritamin, dopamin dan berbagai vitamin, seperti vitamin A, B kompleks dan C . Digunakan sebagai pelembab wajah.

Cara Membuat & Menggunakannya :
• Ambil pisang ambon yang sudah mask lalu hancurkan
• Tambahkan minyak zaitun
• Gunakan dan ulangi secara teratur ramuan tersebut sebagai bedak [infokulit]

adopted from :http://www.dechacare.com/Masker-Wajah-Alami-dari-Buah-I203.html

Menghitung Masa Subur Dengan Siklus Haid

2008-08-09T12:53:00.000+07:00

Menghitung Masa Subur Dengan Siklus Haid

Pantang Berkala atau lebih dikenal dengan sistem kalender merupakan salah satu cara/metode kontrasepsi sederhana yang dapat dikerjakan sendiri oleh pasangan suami istri dengan tidak melakukan sanggama pada masa subur. Metode ini efektif bila dilakukan secara baik dan benar. Dengan penggunaan sistem kalender setiap pasangan dimungkinkan dapat merencanakan setiap kehamilannya.Sebelum menggunakan metode ini, tentunya pasangan suami istri harus mengetahui masa subur. Siklus masa subur pada tiap wanita tidak sama. Untuk itu perlu pengamatan minimal 6 kali siklus menstruasi.

Berikut ini cara mengetahui dan menghitung masa subur :

Bila siklus haid teratur (28 hari) :
Hari pertama dalam siklus haid dihitung sebagai hari ke-1
Masa subur adalah hari ke-12 hingga hari ke- 16 dalam siklus haid

Contoh :
Seorang isteri mendapat haid mulai tanggal 9 Januari. Tanggal 9 Januari ini dihitung sebagai hari ke-1. Maka hari ke-12 jatuh pada tanggal 20 januari dan hari ke 16 jatuh pada tanggal 24 Januari. Jadi masa subur yaitu sejak tanggal 20 Januari hingga tanggal 24 Januari. Pada tanggal-tanggal tersebut suami isteri tidak boleh bersanggama. Jika ingin bersanggama harus memakai kondom atau sanggama terputus (bisa dilihat di artikel tentang sanggama terputus).

Bila siklus haid tidak teratur :
Catat jumlah hari dalam satu siklus haid selama 6 bulan (6 siklus). Satu siklus haid dihitung mulai dari hari pertama haid saat ini hingga hari pertama haid berikutnya.
Jumlah hari terpendek dalam 6 kali siklus haid dikurangi 18. Hitungan ini menentukan hari pertama masa subur. Jumlah hari terpanjang selama 6 siklus haid dikurangi 11. Hitungan ini menentukan hari terakhir masa subur.

RUmus
Hari pertama masa subur = Jumlah hari terpendek – 18
Hari terakhir masa subur = Jumlah hari terpanjang - 11

Contoh :
Seorang isteri mendapat haid dengan keadaan : siklus terpendek 26 hari dan siklus terpanjang 32 hari (mulai hari pertama haid sampai haid berikutnya)Perhitungannya : 26-18 = 8 dan 32–11 = 21. jadi masa suburnya adalah mulai hari ke-8 sampai ke 21 dari hari pertama haid. Pada masa ini suami isteri tidak boleh bersanggama. Jila ingin bersanggama harus memakai kondom atau sanggama terputus.

Kontrasepsi dengan menggunakan sistem kalender dapat menghindari risiko kesehatan yang berhubungan dengan kontrasepsi. Bagi keluarga yang kesulitan untuk mendapatkan alat kontrasepsi sangat cocok untuk menggunakan metode kontrasepsi ini selain tidak memerlukan biaya juga tidak perlu mencari tempat pelayanan kontrasepsi.Menggunakan sistem kalender perlu kerjasama yang baik antara suami istri karena metode ini perlu kemauan dan disiplin pasangan dalam menjalankannya. Masa berpantang yang cukup lama akan mengakibatkan pasangan tidak bisa menanti sehingga melakukan hubungan pada waktu masih berpantang. Tapi bukan masalah bila saja pasangan membiasakan menggunakan kondom pada saat subur.

Merawat Payudara Indah

2008-08-09T12:48:00.000+07:00

Berkurangnya kekencangan payudara merupakan momok bagi kaum wanita. Oleh sebab itu, payudara perlu dirawat, selayaknya kita merawat bagian tubuh lainnya.

1. Kenakan bra untuk menjaga bentuk payudara tetap indah. Pilih ukuran bra yang sesuai agar dapat menopang payudara dengan baik.
2. Bersihkan secara rutin daerah seputar puting susu dengan kapas yang dibasahi air hangat.
3. Oleskan minyak zaitun pada payudara untuk menjaga kelembaban. Agar hasilnya lebih maksimal, lakukan pijatan ringan dengan gerakan lembut.
4. Lakukan senam ringan dengan fokus untuk memperkuat otot dada.

Awas Kanker Payudara
Gejala awal penyakit yang jadi momok wanita ini ditandai munculnya benjolan sebesar kelereng.Benjolan ini tak teraba dengan tangan ketika ukurannya masih kecil. Selain itu, salah satu puting susu mengeluarkan cairan berwarna merah dan berbekas di bra. Jika gejala ini muncul, sebaiknya segera hubungi dokter untuk pemeriksaan lebih lanjut.Kanker payudara merupakan salah satu penyakit paling mematikan di Indonesia. "Ini karena beberapa faktor. Bisa jadi mereka enggak tahu atau merasa malu berobat. Kebanyakan pasien lebih memilih pengobatan alternatif. Mereka mendatangi dokter setelah penyakitnya mencapai stadium lanjut," papar Sonar.Salah satu upaya mengetahui kelainan pada payudara adalah dengan melakukan SADARI (Periksa Payudara Sendiri).
SADARI dapat dilakukan 7-10 hari sesudah menstruasi hari terakhir. Untuk membantu proses ini, oleskan sedikit minyak zaitun atau busa sabun mandi di permukaan payudara. Ini akan memperlicin permukaan payudara. Selain itu tangan menjadi lebih sensitif meraba kemungkinan adanya benjolan di payudara.

Langkah-langkah melakukan SADARI:
a. Dalam posisi berbaring telentang, letakkan tangan kanan di bawah kepala. Letakkan sebuah bantal kecil di bawah punggung sebelah kanan.
b. Raba seluruh bagian payudara sebelah kanan dengan menggunakan 3 ujung jari tengah yang dirapatkan.
c. Lakukan gerakan memutar dan tekanan lembut tetapi mantap. Lakukan gerakan ini mulai dari bagian pinggir searah jarum jam.
d. Ulangi gerakan serupa pada payudara sebelah kiri. Rasakan dan perhatikan dengan seksama, apabila muncul benjolan yang mencurigakan.
e. Tekan pelan-pelan daerah di sekitar puting. Perhatikan, apakah puting mengeluarkan cairan yang tidak normal.
f. Dalam posisi berdiri dan lengan lurus ke bawah, teliti kedua payudara di depan cermin. Perhatikan, bila ada benjolan atau perubahan bentuk payudara.g. Angkat kedua lengan lurus ke atas. Ulangi langkah di atas.

adopted from http://informasi-ringan.blogspot.com/2007/01/tips-merawat-payudara-indah.html

Jauh kau pergi...

2008-07-23T20:38:00.000+07:00

"Jauh kau pergi meninggalkan diriku, disini aku merindukan dirimu..."

sepenggal kalimt dari sebuah lagu, tiba-tiba mengingatkan aku kembali tentang kamu, tiba-tiba mengembalikan lagi ingatanku akan masa kita berdua, tiba-tiba menghadirkan kerinduanku akan kamu...
Kamu yang jauh disana bersama malaikat jiwamu, pernahkah kamu merindukanku, pernahkah kamu mengingat akan aku? Ah, rasanya tiada pernah kamu merasakan itu... dan tak akan pernah...
Mereka bilang aku harus melupakan-mu, tapi mereka tiada pernah tau melupakan kamu sama sakitnya dengan mengingat kamu dan membenci kamu sama sakitnya dengan mencintai kamu...

Kesedihan yang aku rasakan

2008-07-15T17:21:00.000+07:00

Kesedihan yang aku rasakan disaat mengambil keputusan untuk menjauh dari dirimu,
Kesedihan yang aku rasakan disaat keputusan menghentikan semua tentang kita,
Kesedihan yang aku rasakan disaat aku sadari hari esok adalah tanpa dirimu,
Kesedihan yang aku rasakan disaat ku sadari hari-hari yang ku lewati bersamamu hanya ada dalam wadah kenangan,
Kesedihan yang aku rasakan disaat ada sebuah lubang kekosongan yang menganga lebar dalam hatiku tanpa kamu menghias hari-hari ku,
Kesedihan yang aku rasakan disaat ku sadari kita akan menjauh,
Kesedihan yang aku rasakan disaat tiada lagi kebersamaan tentang kita....

Kesedihan yang aku rasakan tak akan engkau ketahui..
Kesedihan yang aku rasakan tak akan tergambar saat dihadapanmu...
Kesedihan yang aku rasakan tak akan pernah engkau sadari...
Kesedihan yang aku rasakan akan tertutupi oleh tawa dan senyumku...
Kesedihan yang aku rasakan akan terbalut oleh dusta sukacita yang tersemat dalam hari-hari ku...

Keluargaku, LAI ku - 11 Juli 2008 (My Family, My LAI - July 11th, 2008)

2008-07-14T17:16:00.003+07:00

06.30 : Rombongan peserta piknik berangkat menuju ke Wisma PGI, Cipayung. Kami sekitar 50-55 orang, dewasa dan anak-anak. Dengan menggunakan Bus Kerub kami berangkat dengan sukacita dan kesibukan yang luar biasa saat bus berjalan Panitia harus melayani sarapan pagi semua peserta, membagikan sarapan pagi dan menyediakan teh or kopi hangat bagi peserta.

09.15 : Kami tiba di lokasi piknik, disana rombongan dari Bogor sudah tiba terlebih dahulu, beserta EO yang menghandle acara selanjutnya. Aku langsung turun sambil memperhatikan para peserta yang juga berhamburan turun dari bus. Selanjutnya aku sudah disibukan pula dengan door prize yang begitu banyak, sambil memantau konsumsi yang sudah tersedia di meja yang sudah disiapkan oleh Panitia.

09.30 : EO langsung menghandle acara yang sudah disiapkan bagi semua peserta, permainan yang seru dan educatif diikuti oleh semua peserta. Aku melihat semua peserta begitu menikmati acara kebersamaan sepanjang hari itu. Setelah makan siang dan juga diselingi oleh pembagian door prize, kami memasuki acara bebas, pada jam itu semua peserta bebas mengikuti semua permainan yang disediakan oleh Wisma PGI Cipayung, ada flying fox, kolam renang, billiard, tennis dan basket. Karena flying fox adalah permainan yg booming akhir-akhir ini, maka di sarana tersebut banyak orang yang mengantri utk mencoba rasanya bermain flying fox, sementara aku, hanya duduk di tepi kolam renang menyaksikan anak-anak kecil berenang dengan gaya mereka masing-masing yg lucu.

15.45 : Semua peserta diminta berkumpul bersama di tenda utama karena rombongan akan segera kembali ke Jakarta dan Bogor. Setelah semua peserta berkumpul kami menaik-kan doa syukur atas kebersamaan yang kami rasakan sepanjang hari itu.

16.15 : Rombongan berangkat pulang....

Semoga kebersamaan hari itu membekas dihati semua peserta Acara Piknik LAI

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
06.30 : All of the picnic participant went to Wisma PGI, Cipayung. We were around 50-55 people, adult and children. By riding Kerub Bus we left with joy and the bustle so incredible while the bus was moving away. The Committee served the participants on the bus for they breakfast, coffe and warm tea.

09.15 : We arrived at picnic location, the other group from Bogor had arrived first, with EO who would handle the next agenda. I straight up got off from the bus while watching all the participant do the same like me. A lot of door prizes kept me busy, and I was also watching the consumption preparation by the committee

09.30 : EO directly guiding the agenda for the whole day, all a lot of games followed by all participants. They were so happy and enjoying the occasions for the whole day. After we got our lunch which had been variation by gifts share, we enter the free agenda. In that time the participants freely to choose what they wanted to do, there were flying fox game, swimming pool, billiard, basket ball or badminton. But the most favourite game was flying fox. Cos it was the game that had been famous recently, a lot of participants willing to take a line for hours to get there.

15.45 : All the participants had gathered together in the main tend cos it was time for us to back home, Jakarta and Bogor. We prayed together for our togetherness that day.

16.15 : Went home….

2008-07-07T16:14:00.001+07:00

Hari ini mengajarkan ku tentang menjadi seorang sahabat. Hari ini mengajarkan aku tentang bagaimana menjadi diri sendiri meski banyak tudingan yang menilai buruk akan sikap dan tindakan ku. Hari ini mengajarkan aku tentang suara hati yang berbisik lembut mengingatkan ku akan arti kejujuran. Sedikit demi sedikit aku melihat kemunafikan yang terbalut oleh senyum manis bertopengkan dusta. Semua itu menjadi pembelajaran diri yang terdalam yang membuat kita mengakui akan kebenaran terdalam akan siapa kita...

Today has taught me about become a truth friend. Today has taught me about how become your own self even alot of bad judgement pointed at your acts and behaviour. Today has taught me about consciencethat gently whisper to remind me the real mean of the truth. Little by little i saw hypocrisy that wraped by sweet smile cover up with liar. All of them become the deepest of self lessons that made us admit the truth about who we were...

Hari ini aku belajar untuk berubah dan merubah sedikit demi sedikit akan sifat buruk-ku dan menjadi seorang sahabat yang terbaik bukan hanya untuk satu atau beberapa orang, namun untuk setiap insan yang ku temui dalam perjalanan hidup ku. Menjadi diri yang sebenarnya adalah hal termanis dalam hidup, tanpa kita harus menghias wajah dengan senyum yang membalut caci maki dan kecurigaan bagi sesama, tanpa kita harus memasang wajah datar dan tanpa senyum sementara hati merindukan rasa persahabatan bahkan untuk sosok yang kita anggap tidak ber-arti dlm perjalanan hidup kita.

Today, i learnt to be change and changed little by little for all my bad behaviour and become a gud friend not only for one person or few, but for each person that i meet in my life journey. Become my own self is the sweetest thing in life,without adorn my face with smile that wraped suspicious and curse, or put the flat face without smile while my heart was missing the truth friendship even for the person that i was consider meaningless in my life.

Tekad yang bulat akan ku jalankan guna menjadi sosok yg lebih baik dalam hati dan pikiran, hingga apa yg kita ucapkan menjadi sesuatu yang berbau harum bukan hanya untuk hari ini namun untuk masa yang selanjutnya....

With fullfill determined i shall do all of them in order to being a better person in heart and mind, therefor my words will be fragrant smell not only for today but in the future...

ada kamu

2008-07-01T16:26:00.000+07:00

Satu hari sudah terlewati, ada kamu di pikiran ku
satu hari sudah ku lalui, dan masih ada kamu di pikiran ku
satu hari sudah berlalu, masih saja kamu di pikiran ku
satu hari ini ada kamu di sekitar ku....

01 July 2008 – Daily Journal

2008-07-01T16:22:00.000+07:00

First day on the Month of July, the half years of 2008, sooner we’ll be arrive at the end of this year…
This morning I wake-up with strange feelings inside me, I didn’t know what kind feeling of that, but funny I felt strange to my own self, I felt as if I was in the strange world, alone and quite….
I try to picture my self in the past, my sadness, my tears, my laughters, my happiness, all those things that ever happen in my life, people who ever come into my life. And this morning when I took my pray time, read the bilbe and daily reflection it taught me about how to learn looking into your own self instead of gicing judgement to other people. It taught how to notice the four finger that pointed to your self while your one finger pointed into others. Seeking the truth of my own self….
And after that I said my prayer and be grateful for every thing that ever happened in my life… joy and tears, laugh and cry….
If I accepted the gud things from Him and never ask “why me” then I shud willing to accept the bad things also withour questioning HIM “why me”

Hellen Keller's Quote

2008-06-26T18:10:00.000+07:00

All the world is full of suffering. It is also full of overcoming. Helen Keller

Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much. Helen Keller

Although the world is full of suffering,it is also full of the overcoming of it. Helen Keller

As selfishness and complaint pervert the mind, so love with its joy clears and sharpens the vision. Helen Keller

As the eagle was killed by the arrow winged with his own feather, so the hand of the world is wounded by its own skill. Helen Keller

Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold. Helen Keller

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved. Helen Keller

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved. Helen Keller

College isn't the place to go for ideas. Helen Keller

Death is no more than passing from one room into another. But there's a difference for me, you know. Because in that other room I shall be able to see. Helen Keller

Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content. Helen Keller

Faith is the strength by which a shattered world shall emerge into the light. Helen Keller

I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do. Helen Keller

I can see, and that is why I can be happy, in what you call the dark, but which to me is golden. I can see a God-made world, not a manmade world. Helen Keller

I do not want the peace which passeth understanding, I want the understanding which bringeth peace. Helen Keller

I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble. Helen Keller

I seldom think about my limitations, and they never make me sad. Perhaps there is just a touch of yearning at times; but it is vague, like a breeze among flowers. Helen Keller

Instead of comparing our lot with that of those who are more fortunate than we are, we should compare it with the lot of the great majority of our fellow men. It then appears that we are among the privileged. Helen Keller

It is a terrible thing to see and have no vision. Helen Keller

It is for us to pray not for tasks equal to our powers, but for powers equal to our tasks, to go forward with a great desire forever beating at the door of our hearts as we travel toward our distant goal. Helen Keller

It is hard to interest those who have everything in those who have nothing. Helen Keller

It is not possible for civilization to flow backwards while there is youth in the world. Youth may be headstrong, but it will advance it allotted length. Helen Keller

It is wonderful how much time good people spend fighting the devil. If they would only expend the same amount of energy loving their fellow men, the devil would die in his own tracks of ennui. Helen Keller

It's wonderful to climb the liquid mountains of the sky. Behind me and before me is God and I have no fears. Helen Keller

Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow. Helen Keller

Keep your face to the sunshine and you will never see the shadow. Helen Keller

Knowledge is love and light and vision. Helen Keller

Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood. Helen Keller

Life is an exciting business, and most exciting when it is lived for others. Helen Keller

Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature. Helen Keller

Life is either a great adventure or nothing. Helen Keller

Literature is my Utopia. Here I am not disenfranchised. No barrier of the senses shuts me out from the sweet, gracious discourses of my book friends. They talk to me without embarrassment or awkwardness. Helen Keller

Love is like a beautiful flower which I may not touch, but whose fragrance makes the garden a place of delight just the same. Helen Keller

Many people know so little about what is beyond their short range of experience. They look within themselves - and find nothing! Therefore they conclude that there is nothing outside themselves either. Helen Keller

Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose. Helen Keller

My share of the work may be limited, but the fact that it is work makes it precious. Helen Keller

Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in the eye. Helen Keller

No matter how dull, or how mean, or how wise a man is, he feels that happiness is his indisputable right. Helen Keller

No one has a right to consume happiness without producing it. Helen Keller

No pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new doorway for the human spirit. Helen Keller

Of all the senses, sight must be the most delightful. Helen Keller

Once I knew only darkness and stillness... my life was without past or future... but a little word from the fingers of another fell into my hand that clutched at emptiness, and my heart leaped to the rapture of living. Helen Keller

One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar. Helen Keller

Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence. Helen Keller

People do not like to think. If one thinks, one must reach conclusions. Conclusions are not always pleasant. Helen Keller

Science may have found a cure for most evils; but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all - the apathy of human beings. Helen Keller

Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. Helen Keller

Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in this world. Helen Keller

Smell is a potent wizard that transports you across thousands of miles and all the years you have lived. Helen Keller

So long as the memory of certain beloved friends lives in my heart, I shall say that life is good. Helen Keller

Strike against war, for without you no battles can be fought! Helen Keller

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart. Helen Keller

The heresy of one age becomes the orthodoxy of the next. Helen Keller

The highest result of education is tolerance. Helen Keller

The marvelous richness of human experience would lose something of rewarding joy if there were no limitations to overcome. The hilltop hour would not be half so wonderful if there were no dark valleys to traverse. Helen Keller

The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart. Helen Keller

The most pathetic person in the world is someone who has sight, but has no vision. Helen Keller

The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision. Helen Keller

The world is moved along, not only by the mighty shoves of its heroes, but also by the aggregate of tiny pushes of each honest worker. Helen Keller

There is no king who has not had a slave among his ancestors, and no slave who has not had a king among his. Helen Keller

To me a lush carpet of pine needles or spongy grass is more welcome than the most luxurious Persian rug. Helen Keller

Toleration is the greatest gift of the mind; it requires the same effort of the brain that it takes to balance oneself on a bicycle. Helen Keller

True happiness... is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose. Helen Keller

Unless we form the habit of going to the Bible in bright moments as well as in trouble, we cannot fully respond to its consolations because we lack equilibrium between light and darkness. Helen Keller

Until the great mass of the people shall be filled with the sense of responsibility for each other's welfare, social justice can never be attained. Helen Keller

Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light. Helen Keller

We can do anything we want to do if we stick to it long enough. Helen Keller We can do anything we want to if we stick to it long enough. Helen Keller

We could never learn to be brave and patient, if there were only joy in the world. Helen Keller

We may have found a cure for most evils; but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all - the apathy of human beings. Helen Keller

We may have found a cure for most evils; but we have found no remedy for the worst of them all, the apathy of human beings. Helen Keller

What a blind person needs is not a teacher but another self. Helen Keller

What I am looking for is not out there, it is in me. Helen Keller

What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us. Helen Keller

When we do the best that we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life, or in the life of another. Helen Keller

While they were saying among themselves it cannot be done, it was done. Helen Keller

Your success and happiness lies in you. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties. Helen Keller

Hingga Akhir Waktu

2008-06-26T18:03:00.000+07:00

Ku coba untuk melawan hati
Tapi hampa terasa di sini tanpamu
Bagiku semua sangat berarti lagi
Ku ingin kau di sini tepiskan sepiku bersamamu

Reff : Tak’kan pernah ada yang lain di sisi
Segenap jiwa hanya untukmu
Dan tak’kan mungkin ada yang yang lain di sisi
Ku ingin kau di sini tepiskan sepiku bersamamu

Bagiku semua sangat berarti
Ku ingin kau di sini
Bagiku semua sangat berarti lagi
Ku ingin kau di sini

Reff : Tak’kan pernah ada yang lain di sisi
Segenap jiwa hanya untukmu
Dan tak’kan mungkin ada yang lain di sisi
Ku ingin kau di sini tepiskan sepiku bersamamu
Hingga akhir waktu… hingga akhir waktu …..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I try to fight my heart
But emptinesss feels without you here
To me all of them means a lot again
I’d like you tobe here, with you to push aside my loneliness

There won’t be others beside me
my soul only for you..
And there won’t be others beside me
I’d like you tobe here, with you to push aside my loneliness, until the end of time...

Setahun yang lalu

2008-06-26T17:52:00.000+07:00

Setahun yang lalu aku kehilangan cinta-mu...
Setahun sudah berlalu, ku lewati hari-hari tanpa kehadiran diri mu...
Setahun sudah ku lewati hari-hari dengan airmata yang menghias kerinduanku...
Setahun sudah aku kehilangan penopang jiwa-ku...
Setahun sudah terlewati tanpa senyum dan tawamu...
Setahun sudah aku hidup hanya dengan kenangan tentang mu...
Setahun sudah ku lewati hari hanya karena nafas yang masih berhembus dalam hidup ku....

Kini kembali bayang mu menghias benak ku,
Kini kembali kerinduan ini menyergap-ku,
Namun aku tahu kerinduan ini tak cukup untuk memampukan aku memeluk-mu,
Namun aku tahu cinta ini tidaklah cukup untuk menahan-mu pergi setahun yang lalu..
Namun aku tahu juga cinta ini tak cukup untuk memintamu kembali pada-ku...

Engkau sudah pergi bersama kenangan itu...
Engkau sudah pergi bersama malaikatmu...

Kini yang ada hanya aku dan duka-ku,
kini yang ada hanya aku dan airmata,
kini yang ada hanya aku dan harapku, mimpi dan angan-ku engkau bersama-ku menepis sepi dan rindu-ku...hingga akhir waktu!

Heart of The Woman

2008-06-09T17:22:00.000+07:00

Heart of The Woman
In her smile she capable to hide all the sadness that scratch her heart that time, in her laughter she could hide the tears that flood her heart soul….
In her silence she could hold when the missing covering her days with all the memories that ever excist…

In her joy she could make world believes she’s fine eventhough the burden stays in her heart…
You could hurt woman’s heart by make a word that deny her exsictance..
You could hurt woman’s heart without any words but enough with fake kiss that you’re the only one who knows what that kiss means…

Heart of The Woman
You could see her strongly just when she doesn’t have anything to hold unto..
You could see her weak just when the biggest strength inside of her…
You could see her happy just when the tears of ssadness wiping her eyes..
You could see her cry just when the most joyfull moment covering her heart and soul…

Heart of The Woman
Her joy and tears… you never able to know it…

Hati Seorang Wanita...

2008-06-09T15:50:00.001+07:00

Hati seorang wanita....
Dalam senyum dia mampu menyembunyikan kedukaan yang saat itu menggores hatinya, dalam tawa dia mampu menyembunyikan air mata yang menggenangi mata hatinya...
Dalam diam dia menahan saat kerinduan menyelimuti hari-harinya dengan kenangan yang pernah ada...
Dalam keceriaan dia membuat dunia percaya dia baik-baik saja meski beban menggelayut manja dalam hatinya...

Engkau dapat melukai hati seorang wanita dengan membuat sepenggal kata-kata yang menyangkal keberadaan dirinya...

Engkau dapat melukai hati seorang wanita tanpa sepatah kata namun cukup dengan dusta ciuman yang engkau sendiri tahu artinya...

Hati Seorang Wanita...
Engkau akan melihatnya kuat disaat dia tidak mempunyai apapun untuk berpegang...
Engkau akan melihatnya lemah disaat kekuatan terbesar ada dalam dirinya ...
Engkau akan melihatnya ceria disaat airmata kedukaan yang menggenangi dua bola matanya
Engkau akan melihatnya menangis disaat sukacita terbesar menyelimuti hati dan jiwanya...

Hati Seorang Wanita...
Senyum dan kesedihannya tiada akan pernah engkau tahu....

Hati Seorang Wanita...

2008-06-09T15:50:00.000+07:00

When Love calling...

2008-05-31T21:50:00.001+07:00

Apabila cinta memanggilmu ikutlah dengannya, walaupun jalan yang akan kalian lalui terjal dan berliku. Dan bila sayap-sayapnya datang merengkuhmu, pasrah serta menyerahlah, meskipun pedang yang tersembunyi di balik sayap itu akan melukaimu. Dan jika dia bicara kepadamu, percayalah, walau ucapannya akan membuyarkan mimpi-mimpinu, bagai angin utra yang memporak-porandakan taman. Sebagaimana ia memhkotaimu, cinta juga akan menyalibmu. Sebagaimana ia menumbuhkan kuncup dedaunanmu, maka ia juga memotong akar-akarmu.... Cinta tidak memiliki atau dimiliki, akrena cinta telah cukup untuk cinta
(Kahlil Gibran Sang Nabi)

Cinta... sesuatu yang kuat sama seperti Maut!
Kalimat diatas dan puisi Kahlil Gibran mengingatkan akan perjalanan romans yang pernah aku alami... melewati 8 tahun kebersamaan dan tiba-tiba dalam sekejap semuanya itu dihancurkan oleh dusta yang mengatas namakan cinta.. Harapan dan mimpi seperti terbang bersama duka kehilangan dan terhapus oleh airmata yang berjatuhan dalam melewati kesunyian malam... Namun Cinta tak pernah menghentikan sayapnya untuk terbang dan hinggap dalam setiap hati yang merindukannya!

When love beckons to you, follow him,Though his ways are hard and steep.And when his wings enfold you yield to him,Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.And when he speaks to you believe in him,Though his voice may shatter your dreamsas the north wind lays waste the garden. For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth. Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;For love is sufficient unto love.

My Prayer

2008-05-29T18:18:00.001+07:00

Mazmur 139

Ya Tuhan! Engkau menyelidik serta mengetahui akan daku,
dan Engkau juga mengetahui akan dudukku dan akan bangkitku berdiri; dari jauh juga Engkau mengetahui akan segala kepikiranku.
Engkau memeriksa aku, kalau aku berjalan dan berbaring, segala jalanku Kaumaklumi.
Sebab sebelum lidahku mengeluarkan perkataan, sesungguhnya, semuanya telah Kauketahui, ya TUHAN.
Dari belakang dan dari depan Engkau mengurung aku, dan Engkau menaruh tangan-Mu ke atasku.
Terlalu ajaib bagiku pengetahuan itu, terlalu tinggi, tidak sanggup aku mencapainya.
Ke mana aku dapat pergi menjauhi roh-Mu, ke mana aku dapat lari dari hadapan-Mu?
Jika aku mendaki ke langit, Engkau di sana; jika aku menaruh tempat tidurku di dunia orang mati, di situ pun Engkau.
Jika aku terbang dengan sayap fajar, dan membuat kediaman di ujung laut,
juga di sana tangan-Mu akan menuntun aku, dan tangan kanan-Mu memegang aku.
Jika aku berkata: "Biarlah kegelapan saja melingkupi aku, dan terang sekelilingku menjadi malam,"
maka kegelapan pun tidak menggelapkan bagi-Mu, dan malam menjadi terang seperti siang; kegelapan sama seperti terang.
Sebab Engkaulah yang membentuk buah pinggangku, menenun aku dalam kandungan ibuku.
Aku bersyukur kepada-Mu oleh karena kejadianku dahsyat dan ajaib; ajaib apa yang Kaubuat, dan jiwaku benar-benar menyadarinya.
mata-Mu melihat selagi aku bakal anak, dan dalam kitab-Mu semuanya tertulis hari-hari yang akan dibentuk, sebelum ada satu pun dari padanya.
Dan bagiku, betapa sulitnya pikiran-Mu, ya Allah! Betapa besar jumlahnya!
Jika aku mau menghitungnya, itu lebih banyak dari pada pasir. Apabila aku berhenti, masih saja aku bersama-sama Engkau.
Selidikilah aku, ya Allah, dan kenallah hatiku, ujilah aku dan kenallah pikiran-pikiranku;
lihatlah, apakah jalanku serong, dan tuntunlah aku di jalan yang kekal!

(English Version)

Psalms 139

O lord, thou hast searched me, and known me.
Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off.
Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways.
For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O LORD, thou knowest it altogether.
Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it.
Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence?
If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.
If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea;
Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.
If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me.
Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee; but the night shineth as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to thee.
For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb.
I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.
How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them!
If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee.
Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:
And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

I Don't Wana Miss A Thing

2008-05-29T18:05:00.000+07:00

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While youre far away dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure

Dont want to close my eyes
I dont want to fall asleep
Cause Id miss you babyAnd I dont want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
Id still miss you baby
And I dont want to miss a thing

Lying close to you feeling your heart beating
And Im wondering what youre dreaming
Wondering if its me youre seeing
Then I kiss your eyes
And thank God were together
I just want to stay with you in this moment forever
Forever and ever

Dont want to close my eyes
I dont want to fall asleep
Cause Id miss you baby
And I dont want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
Id still miss you baby
And I dont want to miss a thing

I dont want to miss one smile
I dont want to miss one kiss
I just want to be with you
Right here with you, just like this
I just want to hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
And just stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time

Dont want to close my eyes
I dont want to fall asleep
Cause Id miss you baby
And I dont want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
Id still miss you baby
And I dont want to miss a thing
Dont want to close my eyes
I dont want to fall asleep
I dont want to miss a thing..

dedicated to my past love IVAN... love you always..

intermezzo

2008-05-21T18:56:00.000+07:00

Sayap malam mulai merekah,mengembang dan mewarnai sekeliling duniaku dengan warna pekatnya... ku coba melihat keindahan dari kelamnya gulita malam, entah bagaimana caranya tapi ku ingin merasakan bagian itu...
Ku hela nafas panjang dan menikmati pekat sekeliling ku....
aku diam dan diam... ku hela nafas panjang ku kembali dan tiba-tiba ku rasakan hangat genggaman dari tangan Ilahi memeluk jiwaku... ku hela kembali nafas panjang ku... lagi dan lagi... dan lagi.... sungguh hangat pelukan Sang Khalik membungkus jiwa hampa ku
Perlahan ku buka kedua mata ku namun hanya pekat yang menjadi warna duniaku... ku pejam lagi kedua mata ku dan ku buka kembali, masih saja sama pekat itu terasa...
Tiba-tiba aku berkata pada jiwa hampa ku,"hai...jiwa apakah yg terjadi dan mengapa hanya pekat yg ku lihat dalam kelopak mata ku..?!" Jiwaku berkata perlahan itu bukanlah pekat malam yang engkau tatap, bukan pula pekat hitam yang membungkus pandang-mu, namun engkau berada dalam noktah hampa diri-mu, dalam hampa tiada apa yang dapat engkau tangkap..hanya kosong dan gelap... jadi, bangunlah! bangun dari tidur hampa-mu dan engkau akan melihat warna mentari sukacita dan bianglala jiwa-mu... bangun...bangun!"

Ku hela nafas panjang-ku... dan warna warni itu sedikit demi sedikit merubah warna pekat itu...lagi dan lagi dan lagi... dan lagi.....

Few Gud Men

2008-05-21T18:53:00.000+07:00

Man #1 : knew him long time ago, handsome,hunk, have a nice smile,woman killer, in the beginning it was kinda cool around him but lately the best thing i could do to him is ignore him...yet i try to see the gud things of him, he still has that nice smile... and i think one is enough to describe his gud thing :D

Man#2 : knew him since i was a kid, has white skin than me (how ashamed!) my childhood friend, the next i knew when we grew up we become couple... and in the short times we broke up, we decided become friend more fun... the gud side of him, he's such a care person,less smiling but when he did that believe me he'll rock any girl's heart...hhhmmmm.... bad sirene for me ~as his gf~

Man #3 : i used to call him "soulmate" but not anymore....i did like this guy, i didn't know where it were all started but he did remind me of sum1 special, but all those feelings stoped when i foundout about him and my best friend... and i still could see those sparks between them, but this time i prefer to stay away from both of them especially him, no matter how much i like this guy but i don't need a nother jerk in my life... sorry pal! Gud side of him?hhmmm... well....ehhmmmmm, let me think, hhmmm let me think harder...

Man #4 : he is a silence guy, smart with computer and programs, cute real cute guy, tall, has a big beautiful eyes,sexy voice, but his heart is built from iceberg... so cold!!! Always helping with all his advices, mature and respect for any girl....Gud side of him? believe me or not we don't have anything in common, especially about friendship and love things, but i think that's what make us close :D Lately i hardly having communication with him, infact i don't know where he is now... sumwhere in this universe i believe ^o^

The Wishes

2008-04-28T21:43:00.003+07:00

Ucok :
The Lord didn't promise that life wuld become easy, but He did promise 2go wid you every step of the way! God bless u..

Noel "Angel":
Hi Manis!y u take leave hope u fine,b4 i forget let me wish you "Many happy returns, may u live 2b 103,JBU wid all success & happiness..Happy B'day
(sorry i edit few part of the message...it's only for me ^o^)

Emin:
Life is Only Traveled Once, Today's moment becomes 2morrow MemorieS.. Enjoy every Moment, gOoD oR BaD,BcoZ tHe GifT oF LifE is LiFe it seLf, Happy BirthDay Sist...

MeY:
Surely goodness n mercy shall follow me All the days of my Life ~Psalm 23:6, NKJV
Happy b"day dear, Gbu

Ucok again:
B-egin your day with
L-ove in ur heart
E-xpect blessing
S-hare goodness
S-hine like the sun
I-nspire JESUS
N-ever forget that
G-OD is with you always.
Happy B'day....

Mbak Any :
Met ulang tahun ya Ky! Tuhan selalu menyertai di setiap langkahmu
(Happy B'day Ky!May God always be with you in every step of yours)

and there were also from Sammy "Antonio";Jessi;Aunty Marcha;Mrs.Kartini ~my former chief~; Mrs. Suryanti;Aunty Corrina;Debs;Janet;Ithie;Amoy;Maya;John (by phone call); Ka'Ita (by phone call); Lang Neuse; Rina (by phone call); Limbongbua;Melon; Rna and Heisye, Indi, Rajesh, Carlos....

"..Thx everyone for the loves, cares and wishes and thx for being apart of my life...i think God has bless me alot by sending all of you into my life..."

Ms.D ~ about today

2008-04-17T22:42:00.000+07:00

Gud Evening Ms.D

Today i spent the whole day at my compie, doing all the preparation for The Member Foundation's Election on April 25th...

Lately i had alot of surprises in my life and i think God has answered my prayers one by one ;) At lunch i had invited by Amoy ~mere best friend~ she looked gorgeous in her pink blouse and jeans, we talked alot about anything, works, life and even her BF that stayed at US. Tobe honest i hardly to get time to hang around with Amoy, so sad but what can i say works always come first...

And today i had chance to say Hi to my friend Jai who had been vanished for about three long months ^o^ ... sorry Jai :) but i'm glad seeing you back in the field again even that's only for a week pal! wish he gave me chance to let me see him with his beard...and i know i have said this before Jai but i'd like to say it once again, you look nice with beard..." :)

Ms.D
i miss sum1 but i have gave my promise to God not asking about him again after one meet... don't know what to do and too scare doin anything...

Now time is 11.52 pm, time to go to bed Ms.D, from now on i'll try to make a contact with you and tell you about everything in my life...hhoooaaahhhh so sleepy and very exhausted, gtg now.. cu later Ms.D

bye...

STILL

2008-04-15T17:42:00.001+07:00

Hide me now.... under Your wings
covered me within Your mighty hands
when the oceans rise and thunder roar
i will soar with You above the storm
Father, You are King over the flood
i will be still know You are GOD...
Find rest my soul in Christ alone
know He is power in quietness and trust...

Silence...

2008-04-15T17:13:00.000+07:00

“Akhirnya datang juga …!” that’s what I felt when I saw him from distence…Funny I think how life treatin’ us, when you missing someone badly that person never showed up, no news, now message, nothing…dissapear just like that, but when finally you gave up on that person, when you decided to walk away from all the matters that had made you in tears and sadness…al the sudden boom…that person right infront of you, and in that time you had nothin’ to say, didn’t know what to do or what to think…you just stood there watching that person presence...

These few months in my life i had learnt how to stop and hold the feelings inside, not able to talk or even to share, just kept everything inside...perhaps the best way was not to talk....
I fought with my self b'cos of his passing, talking to my self and figured out would it be my fault or mistaken that i had made that made him away.... but in the end of my journey feelings still i've been hang by a threat of my own weakness and self condamn, and be still was the right answer all this time...

Now... i know the beauty of being silence, and the silence it self gives us quietness in our mind and heart that lead us to the right answer...

Scrab to The Lord

2008-03-24T12:11:00.001+07:00

A vague sound of song was barely heard, it said “ YOU would never leave me walk on by my self alone, YOU always there for me, cos YOU are my Father, My Eternal Father…”
When I almost lost of sum1 that I really care, in the middle of disappointed that crash my heart, when tears of vain hope flew out, I felt HIS love that never changed. I often betrayed HIS love but HE always cured my wound faithfully, with HIS love HE washed my barreness soul and with HIS welt my soul wound had cured by HIM.
Dear Lord, thank you for YOUR love, never leave me alone and people close to my heart, even the sin of my rebelation had chained my body and soul, but please let YOUR love wrap me therefore I may return to YOUR presence and YOUR love…
The lost that I had thru, let it be my hold on to make me closer to YOU and love YOU more …Forgive me for every wound that I had notched into YOUR heart…

Thank you for YOUR deep love, dear Lord... thank you for accepting me as who i am... nothing could replace YOUR Greater Love to me and all the people in this world...

You make me feel...

2008-03-14T17:38:00.001+07:00

I've been trying to reach you, cos i've got sumthing to say but you talking about just nothing at all and you're stepping away..
we were crying together, it wasn't long time ago, before you're walk out that door and leave me this way, just hear what i say..
You make me feel real, for the rest of my days it's so many ways you make me feel...
I've been trying to leave you, why shud we go like this but my heart can't breath when i hear you say "it's better this way..."
ten thousand light years away from you, keep thinking me it's time to let go
but by the end of the day i wana say to you, "you make me feel real..."

(adopted from You Make Me feel by Westlife)

All about Shah Rukh Khan

2008-03-12T21:50:00.001+07:00

Shah Rukh Khan

Petname
: Sharu, The Rukhster
Address
: 603, Amrit Bandra (west), Mumbai 400050
Date of Birth
: 2nd November, 1965
Height
: 5' 8"
Family
: Wife - Gauri, Two children - Aryan and Suhana, Father - Late Mir Taj Mohammed, Mother - Late Fatima Begum, Sister - Shenaz
Hobbies
: Playing computer games
Debut Film
: Dil Aashna Hai (1991)
Awards
Filmfare Best Actor Award for 'Baazigar' (1993), Filmfare Best Villain - 'Anjaam' (1994), Filmfare Best Actor Award for 'Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jaayenge' (1996), Filmfare Best Actor Award for 'Dil To Pagal Hai' (1997), Filmfare Best Actor Award for 'Kuch Kuch Hota Hai'(1998), Filmfare Best Actor Award for 'Mohabbatein'(2000), Filmfare Best Actor Award for 'Devdas' (2002), Filmfare Best Actor Award for 'Swades' (2004), Four Zee Cine Awards, Three IIFA Awards, Four People's Choice Movie Awards.
Shah Rukh Khan, son of Late Mir Taj Mohammad and Late Fatima Begum, was born on November 2, 1965. He is now the kingpin of Bollywood film industry. He did his schooling from St. Columba's school and has a Masters Degree in Mass Communication from Jamia Milia Islamia, Delhi. He married before he got his break in Bollywood. In a profession where commitment towards wives and girlfriends take the backburner, SRK's devotion towards wife Gauri has been lauded. They have a son Aryan and a daughter Suhana.
Shah Rukh started his career as an actor with Fauji (1988), a television serial in which gave him instant success. After a couple of TV serials he joined the big league and gave a smashing hit 'Deewana' (1992) with the late Divya Bharati. After that he gave a series of hit films both as a hero and a villain.
In 1993 he shot to stardom with two successive villain roles as a paranoid lover in 'Baazigar' and 'Darr'. In 1995, he got another hit 'Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge' which elevated him as one of the most successful actor in Hindi cinema. After DDLJ he got a series of hit movies which include Pardesh (1997), Yes Boss (1997), Dil To Pagal Hai (1997), Dilse (1998), Kuch Kuch Hota Hai (1998), Hey Ram (2000), Josh (2000), Har Dil Jo Pyar Karega (2000), Mohabbatein (2000) etc.
Shahrukh as one of the ascendants to the Magadha throne in Santosh Sivan's 'Ashoka' (2001) gave a wonderful performance as a romantic, ruthless warrior. Karan Johar's 'Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham' was another movie in the same year in which he was unable to take full advantage of the character. In 2002, he excelled in 'Devdas', which was India's official entry to the 2002 Oscars.
Shahrukh is known as a convincing screen lover, and seems to spark equally good performances from his female co-stars, he has good screen chemistry with almost all his heroines. He has been most successful pairing with Rani Mukerji and Preity Zinta, in hits such as Chalte Chalte (2003) and Kal Ho Naa Ho (2003). He followed his success in 2004, with memorable performances in 'Veer-Zaara', 'Swades'. Veer-Zaara is an epic tale of love between an Indian man and a Pakistani woman, in which he enacted the umpteenth role as the forlorn lover with ease. Swadesh is a film dealing with a social cause - a foreign returned Indian man's journey through the rural heart of his home land and he gave a genuine performance in this movie.
He started a production company 'Dreamz Unlimited' with co-star Juhi and director Aziz Mirza. In 2004 another of his production houses, Red Chillies Entertainment, produced the hit film 'Main Hoon Na' and co-produced 'Kaal' in 2005 with Karan Johar. He also produced and acted in 'Paheli', which was India's official entry to the 2005 Oscars. A noted British filmmaker, Nasreen Munni has produced a two-part documentary on Shahrukh, "The Inner and Outer World of Shah Rukh Khan".
In his personal life he is very simple and frank. He strongly believes in Muslim-Hindu peace, as do many other Bollywood actors. He was awarded the Padma Shri in 2005. SRK has a superb drive to top in anything he does and says he is never satisfied with whatever achievements he has made. He is too full of zest to be defeated and live quietly. Even if he ceases to be a super star, this talented personality is sure to explore other avenues to succeed. He will continue to be there on the top.

Midnight Note...

2008-03-10T18:13:00.000+07:00

Sixteen:
Was so affraid facing the grown up world, just sat down in living room and took a pray...

ten:
Was wondering what would hapen with me on 10 or 20 years ahead? Dreaming about Mr. Perfect Guy, about marriage, about having family of my own... again i knelt down and pray, cos all the sudden i felt the fear of the future
What if i had lost people that i loved, what if i had met my match... what if... just what if...

zero-one:
My life had begun... being faithful won't be a guarentee to bring my Mr.Perfect into my life, learnt about LOVE, pain and tears... didn't want to fall in love, didn't want to have best friend, thought what i had done so my life so difficult, learnt how to deal with the lost of your love one, learnt how to acts and responsible for everything i'd done, learnt how to become an adult... sucks :) but it hapens anyway...
So hard being adult!

3 Days Babysitting

2008-03-10T17:18:00.002+07:00

Day's 1:
Picked up my niece from my sister home. Vina is my 1 year niece.She's cute, pretty ~like her aunty of course :)~smart, adorable baby and she's starting to walk. Always shout with her own baby language if any stranger talk to her. She's so close to me and i love her too much. Any way, i picked her and my mom and brought them to my youngest sister's home at Tangerang. Vina never stoped waving to her mom while our taxi starting to move leaving my sister home. On the way to Tangerang she talked alot with strange language that i had to guess the word of her. About one half hour we arrived at my youngest sister's home, Janet is her name. Vina so excited, with her gorgeous smile she enter the house. We spent the day with Vina, she did alot of funny acts, laughing, smiling, teasing and alot of them. Until when she had to go to pee... gosh... i forgot that she had this alergic so the doctor said that she couldn't wear her diapers, can you imagine how "busy" i was looking for her so she didn't waet all over the floor e'time she had to pee :) and time for her to go to bed, i had to stay all the nite watching her incase she weat all over the bed... finaly i could sleep at 03.00 am in the morning... not slept passed out i think ^o^

Day's 2:
I felt a little bit dizzy when Vina snap me on the face trying to make me wake... and when i oponed my eyes..her face stared at me with her big beautiful eyes and smiled so cute, so it was enough to stop me from sleeping again.
At 09.00 am got her to bath after i feed her with her biscuit for her breakfast, she ate and played also, couldn't stay still that my Vina. Running all over the room then when she felt her mouth empty she came to me and said "Aaa" and opened her mouth so wide...

Days'3 :
After the mass at church, we went home to my granny's home, so was Vina. Arrived at my granny's she played with my two pets ~chivas and vodka~ Vina didn't show any fear from these cute dogs, i little bit worried that she might hurt them,hehehehehe...
Like two days before Vina always stick with me, i feed her, following her wherever she running to, playing together, had fun together... and i think even she's so small Vina understand what i said, the problem was me who had this difficulty to understand her language or words... but thank God i made it finally when she said..."pppiiss" that meant she was goin to have a pee...
Until the time for her and my sister back to home, i felt a little sad, she was sleeping when her mom taking her from bed, i asked to hold her before she went to the taxi, while i hold her in my arms Vina opened her eyes and smiled to me, and waving her tinny hands... God, i really do love her so much even she didn't come from my womb... when she left it felt sumthing had gone from your life... was it the same feeling that my folks feel about me ?!

3 days babysitting her, teach me and learnt me how "busy" and "hard" become a mom but also i understand just when we see the smile on our love baby... all the hards thing are gone...just like that, replaced by feelings of LOVE that so deep...

Is This LOVE

2008-02-26T16:07:00.001+07:00

Does your hands sweat, your heart beating so fast and your voice stuck in your chest? It’s not LOVE it’s crush…

Are you not able take away your sight or your hands from her/him? It’s not LOVE it’s Lust

Do you proud and desperate to show him/her to other people? It’s not LOVE.. it’s LUCKY

Do you want him/her cos you know he/she’s there? It’s not LOVE, it’s LONELY..

Are you gonna stay for his/her love statement, cos you don’t wana hurt him/her? It’s not LOVE, it’s A PITTY

Are you going tobe there becos of he/she’s kissing you or holding your hand? It’s not LOVE, it’s SELF CONFIDENCE

Are you going tobe his/her cos the way he/she looks at you make your heart jumping? It’s not LOVE, it’s CRUSH…

Do you forgive his/her mistakes b’cos you care of him/her? It’s not LOVE, it’s FRIENDSHIP

Do you tell him/her that it’s only him/her you’re thinking about? It’s not LOVE, it’s LIED…

Are you willing to give him/her all the things that you like a lot only for his/her needed? It’s not LOVE, it’s GENEROUS..

Are you gonna stay still becoz of the mix between hurt and joy that had been blinded and unbelievable drag you closely and hold you? If that say so It’s LOVE..

Do you accepting his/her mistakes becoz it’s apart of his/her self and who he/she is? If that say so, It’s LOVE…

Are you interesting to someone else but still faithfull with him/her without any regrets? If that say so, it’s LOVE

Are gona give your heart, life and death only to him/her? If that say so, it’s LOVE..

Does your heart in pain and broke when he/she’s in sadness? If that say so, it’s LOVE…

Do you cry bcos of her/his pain eventhough in that moment she/he seems strong?If that say so, it’s LOVE…

Does his/her eyes see your truly heart and touching your soul deeply so that makes feels so hurt? If that say so, it’s LOVE

So now if LOVE could be that painful and torture, why we in LOVE? Why only that thing we search for the rest of our life? This painful and missrable? Why all those kind of things that we want and dream of? Why? Becos it’s LOVE…. --the truth will set you free,

John 8:32--

2008-02-22T19:13:00.000+07:00

How can i feel so deep to sum1 who won't care 4me at all, and thinking about him and hurt my own self... he won't bow down....
Love works in strange way... we love sum1 that even want to take his/her eyes on you but in the distance there's a guy/girl who loves you and adore you so much but it's our turn who don't take our eyes on him/her...
Love always come sudden and never give a chance for us to survive... Love is pagal, crazy sometimes it makes you so happy but it could make you also in tears badly...
Then why we spent our time just to feel of falling in love, no one could survive from arrows of love, when it hits you then prepare to laugh anad cry in the same time....
when you're so happy of love it makes you in tears and when you get hurt by it you also in tears...

Loving you so easy but to get your heart that's the hell of hard things to do... you sealed your heart real tight so im not able to take inside of it...
Do you ever feel of love?or even just think about it a while...? Do it sometimes then you could understand the way i feel now...

I have already loved once, thought i never be able to feel it again, but my stupidity has made me down on my knees infront of your charmed...like a helpless soul infront of the angel of heaven...
And when Love has spread its wings i was deceived by its beauty.... which is only a dream that never come true...

Now... the night has fall, time to close my eyes and silence in my lasting sleep... dreaming about you and your love... maybe i could touch your silence heart....

Gud night Love... gud bye....

Fave Movies ~ part2

2008-02-22T19:03:00.002+07:00

Chak De:
How to reach the goals... with every breath you take!

10 Thing I hate about you:
Hate and Love always make you know sum1 better....

Runaway Bride:
Don't you ever tired running from the fact and your own fear...

Bridget's Jones Diary part 1-2 :
Always greatful for what you have in this life...even for your perfect match!

Fave Movies...

2008-02-22T12:09:00.003+07:00

Mohhabatein:
Love could bring happines but also the sadness to the death... Loving just the same as breathing i think, why?cos love is in the air then you need air to breath so simple like that...

Kuch Kuch Hota Hai :
Pyar dosti... maybe yes maybe no, we live once, die once, and LOVE eik pare hota... if you have already loved do you think you couldn't do it again?do u LOVE only once....

Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham:
All about loving your parents... children is God's entrusted in this world....

Chori chori Chupke chupke :
How can you give up on your own baby even just for few dollar... and give up your love by share it with other person so you think you had made your love one happy..... kya karo...

Taal:
how to accept the truth of love and show the truth with love....

Dil Hai Thumhaara:
Give the best of your love to your love ones.... even it means ruin your own self....

ASOKA:
Loving your enemies....

Pretty Woman:
Does Cinderella's story excist?Is there any knight of shining armour who rescue and free you from the top of the castle?

Lion King:
Hakunamatata.... No worries.....

2008-02-21T13:14:00.000+07:00

Hey you... would you be my friend? Musje dosti karoge? Maukah kau menjadi teman ku?

This morning i thought about you all the sudden. Pic of you has fullfilled my mind, can u believe that?Crazy isn't it? Korean's phrase said that the short meeting will make lasting friendship. But i think it didn't hapen with us,right and it's only a phrase anyway... and i should greatfull we are friends...
Now you dissapeard just like the blowing kisses in the wind, only your picture leave a scrap into my mind..
Do you know i miss you here?eventhough only for your voice....
You never know what you had left behind with your charmed, your tender smile and your enchanted big eyes...
Now you're away... just a whisper of pray that i could send to you thru the hand of winds and a wish to The Almighty to taking care of you with His bless and protection...

The Deepest

2008-02-21T12:35:00.001+07:00

I let go everything that I desire
I wouldn’t do again
So sorry if you that I loved
And I’ve been waiting on..

Have you ever try to understand
And take a look at me here..
Might be if only my dream
Is it wrong to be waiting…

Won’t be weary for me to wait on
Won’t be gone this Love of mine
‘Till the day you’re not coming back
that only think of in my heart…

You had left the deepest of the heart
So that
there’s no LOVE left in my soul…

Yang Terdalam

2008-02-21T12:29:00.000+07:00

Ku lepas semua yang ku inginkan
Tak akan ku ulangi
Maafkan jika kau ku sayangi
Dan bila ku menanti

Pernah engkau coba mengerti
Lihatlah ku disini
Mungkinkah jika aku bermnimpi
Salahkah untuk menanti

Tak’kan lelah aku menanti
Tak’kan hilang cintaku ini
Hingga saat kau tak kembali
Kan ku kenang di hati saja..

Kau telah tinggalkan
Hati yang terdalam
Hingga tiada cinta
Tersisa di jiwa

Two wolves inside

2008-02-20T18:49:00.000+07:00

A young indian asked to his grandfather, why he's so easily to get angry, and the young Indian wana know how the way to change his character. Then his grandfather told him that there were two wolves inside every man. 1st wolve always has a minus thinking anger, and love to make bad prejudice. And the 2nd wolve always thinking positive, kind and love to live in peace. Every day these two wolves get fight. " Then which wolve is win?" ask the young indian. "The wolve that you always feed up!" said his grandfather.

That the picture of man's heart.... if we do the bad things, anger, jealousy, sadness, then it means we feed up the 1st wolve, but if we live closer to The Lord, do the pray alot then we feed up the 2nd wolve.

Which wolve is win? Depends on you self....

Everlasting Love....

2008-02-14T17:18:00.002+07:00

World is fulled with changes.None on this world that ever lasting.There's only that ever lasting : God's LOVE! God loves us with unconditional love. His love never endless... God loves us eternity....
When we commited sins and need forgive, remember that His love eternity. When we're in the hard situation, remember God's love eternity! In the past God always helped us on His miracle way, not possible today we'll thru that dashing experience again with God. As the Psalms said "But the mercy of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting upon them that fear him, and his righteousness unto children's children.."Psalms 103:17

So, how about us?Let's love God as much as we could as He has done to us.. in every condition and situation...

Happy Valentine's Day everyone....

Pagal..Crazy... Gila ... Insane...

2008-02-11T19:40:00.000+07:00

Pagal ... crazy ... Gila .... Insane ...
That's the only word that filled my mind right now!
Loving you makes my world upside down...
You and your charmed,
you and your smile,
you and your care,
you and your ice heart,
you and your silence,
you and your world...
Don't you know at all that those things torn me apart..
I was lost in your presence, you just like an angel and a devil in the same time.
You filled my days with your presence just when i was alone,
now you're away and be silence just when i'm missing you...
I feel so close to you when you're away
and feel you're so far when you're near...
You're real but untouchable,
you're excist but only a shadow,
you're a voice without a shape,
i hear you but can't see you..
You just like the breath of morning wind
I miss you ... miss you badly...
but it's only could be scream inside of my heart and shadow of the night brings those feelings away to the island of the loneliness...
Why did you torture me with your love and charm..
Be gone and leave me alone,
Be gone and away from my dreams...
Let the tears and pain cover my nites with their mighty wings
I don't wana love you, but i love you
i don't wana missing you, but i do miss you...
You're my angel and devil in the same time
who giving me this pleasure of pain thru your presence and Love
Loving you just like holding the water with my arms,
or touching the softness of cloud in the sky...
Does Love always this hurt
or it's just a stupidity of my heart....

4 Days in East Java

2008-02-10T19:18:00.000+07:00

Day's 1 ~ 6 February 2008
we arrived at Surabaya in the 08.45 am. The air so different from Jakarta the City that never sleep, it was so fresh there, hot..yes but more fresh than Jakarta. And we straight went to Pasuruan, my mom's city birth. About 2hours we arrived there. Pasuruan was a small town in East Java. It has 24-32 celcius temparature degree, and it was so quite. When we got there my uncle had been preparing a mass for his late wife (my mother's sister),prayer for her spirit... My uncle is a Budhism... He was so exciting with our coming..
The house so big with old fashion touched, with all the ancient pictures hanging on the wall...in white and black color... gave me a little bit of creepy feelings but also an awesome feelings..
we had chat until 02.00 o'clock in the morning..then we slept...

Day's 2 ~ 7 February 2008
I opened my eyes and it was 09.00 o'clock in the morning, i had my big spining in my head, air so fresh and chilly temparature since last nite were helping me to open my eyes,finally.., all the noisy voice saying “Gong Xie Fat Choi grandpa...” and the laughters woke me up and brought me to the conciousness mind about the place.. i got up and took a bath.... fast! All the family had gathered to congrate each other, it was New Year... Chinesse New Year... and there was a tradition after we congrate the youngest member of the family we should gave them an red envelope with money in it, we called it “angpao”.. but the rules only for the marriage one, it couldn't be applied for unmarriage person.
At the nite we had a barbeque..rib pork, chicken, and corn also. I didn't eat the meat,only the corn and vagetables (corn mixed with carrot, pottato and beans)..

Days's 3 ~ 8 February 2008
At 09.00 in the morning, we went back to Surabaya. First, we visited my aunty grave, it's in the sea...could you believe that? Yeah, she'd been cremated and they spread her ashes in the midle of the sea, so we spread some flower there... we took a boat and went to the midle of the sea.. During the midle of the sea i saw alot of ships, and across was the Madura islands.. The wind so strong, i stood up infront the boat but then got chills out seeing around me only waters, but it was fun...
After that, we visited some relatives of my mom and back to my cous home at 19.00 pm, then had chat until 02.00 am in the morning... then we got to zzzzzz...........

Day's 4 ~ 9 February 2008
In the morning i woke up cos i heard a music instrument, it was so relaxing, freshed up and so nice.. i opned the door and follow that music, i saw my cous played that, it came from a instrument called Gu Xien (read Kuchen)... it's Chinese instrument. If you heard that music it could brought your feeling to the beautiful garden filled with flowers and waters...
i learnt Gu Xien and funny in that instrument it didn't have the 4th tone (fa) and the 7th tone (ti), can you imagine that? But it could created such lovely music....
In the noon we went to the museum, House of Sampoerna (http://houseofsampoerna.museum/e_historybeauty_museum.htm) one of the famous ciggarette in Indonesia. It said that they worker could make a cigarette only in 3 seconds. When we came to the house the smeel of tobbaco so strong and all the pictures of the 1st owner hanging on the wall. They have two rooms in down stairs and then we went to upstrais, the place that we could see the way they make the ciggarette, and also they sold few hand made like scraf, t-shirt, ashtray, ciggarette box,etc.
After that we went to the mall to buy few things back to home. We left Surabaya at 17.10 pm...

Morning Note

2008-01-30T07:39:00.000+07:00

When my alarm rang this morning it point at 04.15 am, time to Lord's word... all the sudden i feel want tobe nearer by my Mighty Creator's side
In the silence of morning day i made review about what had hapen in my life lately, my mind backward for few months in difficult time of my life, when i lost someone that i loved so much, sum1 that i need so much, sum1 that i adore but i hadn't had him longer...
All the sudden there's a regret and complaing why it had to be me?and my eyes read this word Luke 15:18 "I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee.."
After that instead of regreting everything that had hapen,i knelt down on my feet and prayed To The Lord to cure my heart and feeling cos trully i have no strength todo it by my self...

"Stop regreting or you will loose your life.." Jonathan Larson

A Week Lesson ~ Part Two

2008-01-29T18:12:00.000+07:00

Monday, 28 January 2008
In every situation, always beware and it's needed. Not just b'coz we feel that's only a little tiny problem, the we let our self been snared by it. There's no small sin for us tobe underestimated... beware....

Tuesday, 29 January 2008
Stop being sorry or you will loose your life!Sometimes when we did mistake or failure we're so embrase and we couldn't take it, and sumtimes we forget that we have amazing Lord, who waited for us to turn back and walk in His path....

Wednesday, 30 January 2008

Today's reviews said that God's bless bringing the changes of Life. Beyond of that, we shud taking rhis new life with happines and greatful. God never leaves us even our life full with rebelation to HIM, still HE ever giving up on us... that's for sure....

tobe continued...

Haji Mohamad Soeharto (1921 - 2008)

2008-01-28T08:49:00.000+07:00

Since yesterday people of Indonesian was in great grieve cos of loosing our ex-president Haji Mohamad Soeharto. He became our president in Indonesia for 36 years more…
During his gvt, Indonesia did a lot of development, in particular area or islands there were a lot of many development. Great buildings, towers, agriculture, art and culture, etc. Mr. Soeharto was a great President in that time, he had great interesting with farmer cos his father was a farmer too. Since he young he dream to become a president even that time his parents thought it was a little child’s dreaming, beside Indonesia was in Dutch colonization, so little Soharto had tobe a soldier in his teenage.

His efforts to Indonesian progress become reality, but as long the times goes by there’s a gud and bad side in everyone, Indonesian people thought that Soeharto was npt good enough to become a president ~after 36 years~ so the revolution become worst against Soeharto gvt. In the Year of 1998 Soeharto was been order to step out from leadership qualities. It took many blood of innocent people, college student and from army also to reach that revolution.

Now, Soeharto’s body would be burry at Solo… Our deep sympathy to the all families….
We thank for all the contribution you had given to this Nation… Sleep weel in your long sleeping…. Don’t worry we would bring this Nation to the bright future….

About The Men ^o^

2008-01-24T23:03:00.000+07:00

1st : Funny,alot of sence humor, has cute smile, has that serious look if doing sumthing wid compie,unfaithfull, liar, always do the flirt with any girl he meet... not worth to fight for!

2nd : Serious, tall, black but sweet, smart, unpredictable, carrying but also so cold, a shy person but so nice to talk with, handsome, a girl rock type, faithfull type, computer lovers, has an awesome smile, has beautiful big eyes,sexy voice

3rd : sexy,carrying, woman lover, don't know where have to stand, don't have a heart, sincere but stupid,gud with computer program,so gud with music,using people's feelings,close personality

4th : handsome, funny, wine lover, carrying, sweet person, unpredictable, adorable, loves to sing ~especially when he's drunk~, smart, has beautiful eyes, unfaithfull type, confusing, alot sence of humor

5th : gud with calculation,smart, quite, unpredictable, always complaining, nice nose, smart with compie software, serious look, and the worst got marriage...

could you find the resemble of them...? ^o^

Feeling

2008-01-24T22:36:00.000+07:00

FEELING... what do you think about it?what you shud do about it?how to deal with it?you can hide it but you never could lie to it... it knows the depth of your heart...
if you hate sum1, better say or hide that feeling? if tou love sum1 better shows or burried that feeling? if you like sum1 better stay or leave that feeling before it control ur mind?
Onething that i don't understand about feeling, it always change just like that as easy as you snap your finger..
A moment you think sum1 so sweet and in the next few days, month, years that person would change and it beyond of your mind, what feeling do about it?Nothing...none ... zip...zero ....
Feeling, it sumtimes make you happy, but in other hands it could make your days filled with tears.. who could have power in feeling?
Right now i have one inside my heart, it doesn't want go away and i don't know how to make it away or dissapear, it makes me laughing but it makes me also crying... So i decide to leave my feeling alone... i don't want to keep it anymore.... it's too painful to remember and too sweet tobe forgotten...
Feeling... nothing more than feeling....

Don't Give Up...

2008-01-24T07:40:00.000+07:00

One day I decided to quit...

I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality. ..

I wanted to quit my life.

I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.

'God', I asked, 'Can you give me one good reason not to quit?'

His answer surprised me...

'Look around', He said.

'Do you see the fern and the bamboo?' 'Yes', I replied.

'When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them.

I gave them light. I gave them water.

The fern quickly grew from the earth.

Its brilliant green covered the floor.

Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.

In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.

And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.

He said. 'In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed.

But I would not quit.

In year four, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed.

I would not quit.' He said.'Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth.

Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant. .....

But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.

It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive.

I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle.

' He asked me. 'Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots'.

'I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you.'

'Don't compare yourself to others.' He said.

'The bamboo had a different Purpose than the fern.

Yet they both make the forest beautiful.'

'Your time will come', God said to me. 'You will rise high'

'How high should I rise?' I asked.

'How high will the bamboo rise?' He asked in return.

'As high as it can?' I questioned.

'Yes.' He said, 'Give me glory by rising as high as you can.

' I left the forest and brought back this story.

I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you.

Never, Never, Never Give up.

For the Christian Prayer is not an option but an opportunity.

Don't tell the Lord how big the problem is,
tell the problem how Great the Lord is!

Week Lesson of life...

2008-01-18T16:10:00.000+07:00

Monday :
I used to feel sadness in my life and life is not fun at all but since i try to close to The Almighty, He changes all those bad feelings. Today i feel so misrable cos missing sum1 but instead off i feel sad i learn to sing out loud to The Lord... the result is when we couldn't change the situation, singing could change the way we face the situation!

TUESDAY :
When i feel alot of problems, works and life matters shrink me to weakness feelings, i begining to find the clarity of my thought thru the silence in the midle of my busy days and feel the presence of God...

WEDNESDAY :
Today i learnt about "Helping people"... i just realise thru helping people with their problems is lightning up ours...

THURSDAY :
My fave lesson life "Grateful Heart" or Thankful Heart... This morning i got scold from my boss for what sumthing i didn't do, i was beginning to grumble, but then my heart said ".. be greatful VQ and that's what i did..." I was survive for the whole day ~ Greatful Heart is the most higest heart's quality~

FRIDAY :
"Your mouth is your tiger!" your tongue even so tinny but it could bring you alot of problems... today's learnt it's gud to avoid yopurself from unuseful discussion aka rummors... no use... before you know you'll end up hurting sum1 else feelings...

tobe continued....

Guarding Heart

2008-01-15T15:49:00.000+07:00

your shadow still remains
marked in the depth of my heart
endless rain is like a sign
love is here no more
you've turned away
let me guard this feeling
gurading all the love you gave
you left, i'm not leaving
you walked away, i'm not walking away
the truth is, i still have hopes on you
is the light of your longing still here?
that used to reflect your heart
i can't ever erase you
although now i see you are there...
if in the end you don't come back
i'm still alone guarding heart of me...

Letter to a friend

2008-01-13T20:46:00.000+07:00

Dear friend,

How ru there?you just dissapear like that, mind tell me what's goin' on? Tonight i sit and look at the sky, seeing the stars shines so bright and wondering what are you doing now... little bit miss bugging you here but most of all miss our chat...
I thank God for let me knowing you as my friend... i was glad we talked each other until you're away suddenly and all the silence...
Tonight i sit with my face watching the sky and still there the stars above... im trying to find any answers that you're okay, healty and fine...
but only The Lord having all the answers so i just ask Lord to guide and keep you tight in His mighty hand so your sky full with stars that brings happines and joy thru your heart... and perhaps one day you will be here and we could talk again like before....

Gud night my friend.... sleep tight and thank you for let me know you and bug you all the times...you always be my friend....

Mom

2008-01-11T15:32:00.000+07:00

Slowly your step has been unsteady
Follow in the footstep of every road that you has passed by
You’re a little bit bent by your age
But it doesn’t wash away your spirit to fill your life..
You always put your smile even the wrinkle has been your decorated..
You used to give your hands to me to be hold on, but now it’s yours that hold my hand so tight everytime you make your step…
You tremble,”… it’s okay….” That’s what you always said…
Many years you’ve been a part of my life
In happy and sad times you’re always there…
Many days we spent together with laughter and also with annoyance
But none of them make you love me less…
Your smile is God’s bless from Heaven,
But when your tears has fall down it likes sorrow that shaking The Heaven’s gate…
You love me not only with your heart, you gave your life when you brought me into this world…
Nothing could replace your beauty in this world,
Nothing could wash away your love from my soul
Nothing could love me as much as you do
Mom..
That’s how I call you
Mom…
A Name that given by God…

Ibu

2008-01-11T15:06:00.000+07:00

Langkahmu tertatih perlahan,
Menapak setiap jengkal tanah yang engkau lewati…
Tubuhmu sedikit terbungkuk,
Namun tak menghapus semangatmu mejalani hidup..
Senyum selalu kau semat, meski keriput wajah nyata jelas menjadi penghias wajahmu..
Jika dahulu engkau selalu memberikan tanganmu untuk ku genggam.
Kini tanganmu yang erat menggandengku saat engkau melangkah…
Tubuhmu sedikit gemetar,”… tak mengapa…” itu yang engkau selalu katakana..
Bertahun-tahun sudah engkau menjadi bagian dalam hidupku,
Saat duka saat suka engkau selalu ada…
Banyak hari kita lewati dengan tawa,tak jarang pula dengan kekesalan
Namun tak mengurangi cintamu kepadaku
Senyum mu bagaikan anugrah Tuhan dari surga,
Namun, saat airmata terjatuh dari matamu bagaikan duka yang mengguncang surga..
Engkau mencintaiku bukan hanya dengan hati,
Nyawa yang rela engkau pertaruhkan saat engkau membawaku kedalam dunia ini…
Tak ada yang dapat menggantikan keindahanmu di dunia ini,
Tak ada yang mampu menghapus kasihmu dari raga ini,
Tak ada yang mampu mencintaiku sebesar apapun seperti yang engkau lakukan…

Ibu…
Begitu aku memanggilmu,
Ibu…
Nama yang diberikan TUHAN untukmu

Ibu….

Thank you Lord...

2008-01-03T17:40:00.000+07:00

Thank you Lord
for Christmas,
for it is a reminder that
in a world filled with sadness,
there is your lasting... Joy

In a world filled with despair,
there is your marvelous... Hope

In a world filled with war,
there is your abiding... Peace

We rejoice in the love that came down at Christmas
and the stability it brings to our lives....

Have mercy on me my soul by Kahlil Gibran

2008-01-02T23:36:00.000+07:00

Why are you weeping, my Soul?
Knowest thou my weakness?
Thy tears strike sharp and injure,
For I know not my wrong.
Until when shalt thou cry?
I have naught but human words to interpret your dreams,
Your desires, and your instructions.

Look upon me, my Soul;
I have consumed my full life heeding your teachings.
Think of how I suffer!
I have exhausted my life following you.

My heart was glorying upon the throne,
But is now yoked in slavery;
My patience was a companion,
But now contends against me;
My youth was my hope,
But now reprimands my neglect.

Why, my Soul, are you all-demanding?
I have denied myself pleasure
And deserted the joy of life
Following the course which you impelled me to pursue.
Be just to me,
Or call Death to unshackle me,
For justice is your glory.

Have mercy on me, my Soul.
You have laden me with Love until I cannot carry my burden.
You and Love are inseparable might;
Substance and I are inseparable weakness.
Will e'er the struggle cease between the strong and the weak?

Have mercy on me, my Soul.
You have shown me Fortune beyond my grasp.
You and Fortune abide on the mountain top;
Misery and I are abandoned together in the pit of the valley
Will e'er the mountain and the valley unite?
Have mercy on me, my Soul.
You have shown me Beauty,
But then concealed her.
You and Beauty live in the light;
Ignorance and I are bound together in the dark.
Will e'er the light invade darkness?

Your delight comes with the Ending,
And you revel now in anticipation;
But this body suffers with the lifeWhile in life.
This, my Soul, is perplexing.

You are hastening toward Eternity,
But this body goes slowly toward perishment.
You do not wait for him,
And he cannot go quickly.
This, my Soul, is sadness.

You ascend high, though heaven's attraction,
But this body falls by earth's gravity.
You do not console him,
And he does not appreciate you.
This, my Soul, is misery.

You are rich in wisdom,
But this body is poor in understanding.
You do not compromise,
And he does not obey.
This, my Soul, is extreme suffering.

In the silence of the night you visit The Beloved
And enjoy the sweetness of His presence.
This body ever remains,
The bitter victim of hope and separation.
This, my Soul, is agonizing torture.
Have mercy on me, my Soul!